Growing Up – Saturday Soul with Sandy Hibbard

Scoops of Laughter: My First Job at Braum’s Ice Cream Store

Sandy Hibbard — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 21:47:12 +0000

Scoops of Laughter: My First Job at Braum’s Ice Cream Store

What snack would you eat right now?

I had to get hungry today before I could answer this question properly. What snack would I love to have right now? I think it would have to be a Brahms Ice Cream double-dip hot fudge sundae, nuts with extra fudge. Always my classic goto.

It’s been ages since I’ve had one. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve had to step away from the freezer a little bit ha. The hot fudge sundae and I go way back! In fact, we go back to when I was 15 years old…

Yep, my very first job was at Braum’s Ice Cream store in the heart of Oklahoma City. Picture it – I was a wide-eyed 15-year-old who loved anything sugary getting to work in an ice cream store. It was hopeless from the start!

Braums is a local ice creamery and was close to my house when I was a kid. They have since grown to a big company with franchise stores all over Oklahoma and Texas (where I now live) and beyond.

Other than being a sweet-freak, what made this job even more delightful was that my boss was a good friend from the youth group at our church. It was as if the ice cream gods themselves had smiled upon me. My friend had just landed the coveted position of store manager, and asked if I would like to work for him. He was like a brother, so there was no hesitation, plus I was ready to make myself a little money and become a business icon.

The antics and hilarious escapades that followed eventually made me decide that food service wasn’t my forte. Break time was my sacred sanctuary, and I’d sneak away to the girls’ bathroom with a freshly made hot fudge sundae in hand. Don’t judge – sometimes, the best moments are spent in the most unexpected places.

One unforgettable incident involved a shake cup mishap that would go down in Braum’s history. Picture this: chocolate ice cream and milk spewing in all directions as the bottom of the cup decided to part ways with the rest. Panic ensued, and there I was, a clueless teenager in the midst of a dairy disaster. Lesson learned: always double-check the integrity of your shake cup and put the damn metal appliance ring around the top!

But it wasn’t all chaos and milkshake mayhem. I had the privilege of learning the fine art of scooping ice cream – a skill that comes with its own set of challenges. My overly developed right arm to this day is a testament to the countless square cartons I conquered. Who needs a gym when you’ve got ice cream to scoop?

Working alongside my friend, who doubled as my boss, added an extra layer of fun to the experience. We shared laughs, learned the ropes together, and created memories that still make me smile all these years later. Braum’s wasn’t just a job; it was a swirl of friendship, ice cream dreams, and unforgettable moments. Every scoop came with a side of laughter, and every spill was a reminder that sometimes life gets messy, especially when you’re knee-deep in chocolate and sprinkles.

What snack would I like right now? Braums thank you!

ACCEPT the UNKNOWN

Sandy Hibbard — Sun, 15 May 2016 23:28:04 +0000

Accept the Unknown…. UG! Embracing the mystery of life and accepting the “unknown” outcome has been a journey for me that I feel like I have only yet started. And even thought I am a grown ass woman, I feel as I am beginning to see life as a young person just starting out and accepting that I don’t have to “know” how everything is going to turn out. In fact, part of the adventure is just that – not knowing, allowing things to flow into the space they are meant to take.

I think it’s better to embrace the moments of my life and taste than to wish for another time or place and live in the emptiness. When I drop the walls of judgment and intolerance and open my heart to life, I feel deeper, see further and love completely. When I let go of my fears and allow myself to be fully me, not caring what other people think, I feel free, and I feel like a whole human being. This is where my passion is nurtured and my sight strengthened so that I can see the beauty along the way and move from passage to passage embracing the magic of every moment I’ve been given.

Opening your heart – and keeping it open – has never been a bad idea!
XOXOXO
Sandy

Choose Yourself: Lessons Learned from Sex and the City

Sandy Hibbard — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 12:37:17 +0000

NOTE FROM SATURDAY SOUL:

I had never watched Sex and the City until my divorce in 2010! When my husband left I found myself hurting and looking desperately for something to connect to to ease the pain. I remembered my sisters and daughter telling me about Sex and the City and one night turned on my cable and found old series and began to watch. I will never forget the delight of that week, I watched every episode from the beginning of the series, then rented the first movie, and as timing would have it, went to the theatre to watch the second movie. Sex and the City saved my life! It connected me to my world of sisters and myself. Girls, we need us some Sex and the City!

Love and peace,

Sandy

24 Lessons Learned from Sex and the City

With television’s new summer season beginning this week, I can’t help but long for the season premiere of Sex and the City as it would usually begin on the first or second Sunday in June. Having ended in February 2004, that too was the last year I lived in the city, and I must admit, I become a bit homesick for both of them – stylish, life-loving woman and a city to dream in. Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte will continue to be in the lexicon of television royalty and for good reason. While the HBO series was a phenomenal success – addressing taboo topics, revealing female conversations about sex and relationships, as well as showing the strength of female friendships, the movies as well had their good points (although many argue there were more drawbacks, than high points, I still enjoy watching each of the movies from time to time).Needless to say, there is a reason so many of us keep watching the re-runs. There is a reason a new generation is also falling in love with these four women. And for each person, the reasons may be slightly different, but today I’d like to share the dating, fashion and life lessons that I learned while watching (and re-watching) this beloved sitcom.

Dating Lessons

1. Let him chase you. A woman who is in love with the life she has created for herself exudes a healthy self-confidence and is curious about getting to know people, yet doesn’t exude any neediness. These qualities or lack-thereof are very attractive. As I spoke about in a previous post, while women have the approval from society to take the reins in the dating department, letting him chase you, letting him convince you that he genuinely wants to get to know you, will result in less heartache. After all, if a man knows he can have you, you aren’t exactly projecting the image of being his “someone special”. Respect yourself enough to know that you are worth the chase, and if he doesn’t want to chase you, you don’t want him in your life.

2. Redefining sexy. While the show empowered women in many ways, many viewers I feel misinterpreted the intention regarding sex. As Vivienne Westwood defines sexy, “It is about looking powerful and important,” not easy or out of control. All four women, each in their own way, took control of their lives (which included their sex lives), and took responsibility for them as well. While not every scenario was something we could relate too or want to involve ourselves in, we have to remember this was a show being broadcast on HBO, and they needed to attract attention – thus sex (and lots of it) for ratings. The underlying message though is something not to miss. Women and men are sexual creatures, but it is in the respect for oneself where the balance resides.

3. Slow down. While it can feel like an emotional roller coaster of ecstasy at the beginning of the relationship that you never want to take a break from because it feels surreal, slow down. Don’t jump into a pattern of seeing each other every day when you’ve only just met. Always keep in mind that while you may believe you are thinking rationally, your emotions are in a state of euphoria, and it is best to take it slow in order to build a relationship that will last or determine whether the relationship should last. In other words, “moving too fast, too soon usually only causes the spark to extinguish faster.”

4. Find your equal. As my mother says, you deserve to have a partner, not a project. In other words, you want an adult and more specifically, you want to be with someone who has more similarities with you than differences, a similar drive and passion for life, a similar respect for how the relationship should be handled. And most importantly, you both need to be people who are secure within themselves. While you don’t have to have the same level of education (i.e. Miranda and Steve), to some degree (pun not intended), this can reveal similar ambitions, but there are always exceptions.

5. Heed the red flags. Sometimes a relationship is not meant to work out, even though we believe there is potential. For example, when Carrie’s high school sweetheart returns to visit her, and she later learns he was in town because he had voluntarily checked himself into a Connecticut mental health facility. This is a red flag. Another subtle red flag occurred with Birger in the bedroom. If you have to work too hard in the beginning, this may be a sign to get out before you get in too deep.

6. Know your deal breakers. The first time Carrie called it quits with Big, she refused to be involved any longer with someone who couldn’t be emotional intimate. This is a wonderful example of a deal breaker where she stood her ground whether he understood it or not. By knowing what your deal breakers are, you establish self-respect, and that is the foundation for a sound self-confidence and the likelihood that you will be respected for your stance in a future relationships because you are clear about what you can and can’t live without.

7. Consider your friends’ intuition. While you and only you know when something feels right, sometimes a good friend may see something that you are unable to see due to your rose-colored-glasses vision. This doesn’t mean you have to abide by their every opinion, but at least take it into consideration. Miranda spoke up to Carrie when she was willing to give her job up to move to Paris with Aleksandr Petrovsky, and in the end, she knew what she was talking about.

8. Find somebody who is ready to be in a relationship. Timing has a lot to do with the success of a relationship. If one person is ready to settle into something serious while the other simply wants a partner to be at their side while they continue with their busy social life with friends without putting the relationship first, the relationship doesn’t stand a very good chance of going the distance. Carrie constantly had this struggle with Big not being ready to be in a relationship with her, and with Aiden the situation was reversed. Compatibility certainly plays a large role, but so does timing.

9. Be able to laugh with each other. Charlotte and Harry embody this lesson quite well. So well in fact, that I came to regard them as the most enjoyable couple to watch by the end of the series. They thoroughly enjoyed one another’s company, all the while respecting each others’ eccentricities and individual quirks because they sincerely adored each other.

Fashion Lessons

1. Know your signature style. Each woman had their own style. Charlotte – a very classic and uptown girl, Miranda – quite professional, yet with a bit of a twist, Miranda – trendy, costume jewelry and colorful, and Carrie’s – unique, but a clear understanding of how to mix trends with classics and was comfortable taking risks that worked with her figure.

2. Have fun with fashion. Patricia Field, the head-stylist for Sex and the City, quickly acquired, due to the growing success of the show, all sorts of designer wares to choose from. Having so many choices, she was able to play and dive into what fashion is all about – self-expression. As mentioned in #1, each character had a signature style, but she stretched it ever-so-slightly each season. Fashion should be fun, as it is an extension of who we are, but at the same time, it is just fabric and you can wear something different tomorrow.

3. Mix and match. In the first movie, Carrie wears a black studded belt that Patricia Fields shares was a vintage find. Carrie wears it so many different times in the movie that she allegedly named it ‘Roger’. Paired with dresses and coats, this simple item is the perfect example of mixing high items with low items, new and old items, and feminine items with masculine items. In other words, mix it up.

4. Accentuate your strengths. Charlotte had the classic pear shaped figure, and she styled her curves sublimely. There were many outfits that Carrie wore that had Charlotte worn the exact same thing, it would not have been flattering. However, Charlotte owned what she had, and I have to say, her classic style always impressed.

5. The thirties and beyond can be even better. The ladies in SATC demonstrated that beauty and better quality of life can in fact increase as we age. By taking care of ourselves, respecting our bodies and skin, we grow into the beauty and potential that is possible if we treat ourselves well.

6. Play with trends, but don’t let them define your style. Each season runway trends were seen in Carrie’s wardrobe, but she never fell prey to wearing them exactly as they appeared on the runway. Patricia Fields always played them up or down with accessories, layers, or a unique up-do, but never did the trend overshadow the woman.

7. Invest in your retirement/home/savings/etc before purchasing a pair of Manolo Blahniks. Very few women will forget the episode where Carrie utters, “I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes.” Certainly the obvious lesson is to put your future, your security, first – then go shopping.

Life Lessons

1. Don’t live to please or find a man. Each of the four women were loved by the audience because they were unique individuals. More than likely you can relate in some way to at least one of these characters (Carrie’s emotions, Miranda’s determination, Charlotte’s romanticism, Samantha’s risk-taking gumption). But the lesson throughout the entire series and throughout the movies is that they didn’t lose their sense of self even when they were involved with men.Always keep the hobbies you love, the friends you cherish and the dreams you still long for alive because if a man simply wants a puzzle piece, he’s not going to truly love you for how special you really are. Let them get to know you, gradually, but truthfully, and eventually, you will find someone who you adore for who they are (quirks and all), and visa versa. Live for your dreams and the woman you is continually growing and evolving.

2. Nurture and be appreciative of your female friendships. The series, at its core, was one about the relationships between these four women. Without their chemistry, loyalty (and the paycheck to keep them on the set), there would be a huge chasm. Their bond gave them strength, a boost during the tough times that life inevitably will throw at us all at one time or another and someone who allowed them each to be who they were honestly and authentically.

3. Let go of those who don’t want to be in your life or respect who you really are. A la Aleksandr Petrovsky.

4. Financially, be able to take care of yourself. While Carrie’s ability to shop on the budget of a freelance writer was a bit of a fantasy, the one thing all four of the women had were careers. Each woman was able to take care of themselves financially. Follow their lead.

5. We can plan, but that doesn’t mean it will go as planned. Miranda’s rigid boundaries nearly prevented the relationship with Steve and an eventual move to Brooklyn, but when both occurred, her life unfolded in beautiful ways she hadn’t imagined. While we must always plan, we must also be willing to swerve a bit along the way.

6. Embrace your singleness

“The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself,” she said. “And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.” – Carrie Bradshaw

7. Know when to hang on to the right man. While the movies where a bit fairy-taleish, they both demonstrated that as we get older, relationships only become more emotionally involved because we are no longer dating wildly inappropriate people. We do begin to make better decisions, as long as we are conscious about the mistakes we have made in the past. But there will come a time when we find someone who is perfect for us (if indeed that is what we’re looking for), someone who makes life all the more full. Because wherever you are together, it’s home, and that is beautiful.

8.Choose yourself

“It wasn’t about . . . choosing a man or choosing a bag or choosing a life. It was about, choose yourself.” -Michael Patrick King

As the promotion for the second film was making its rounds, the writer of the script and series, Michael Patrick King, shared this statement with Elle, and I have been convinced that self-respect breeds self-confidence breeds the life of our dreams, whether it goes according to plan or not.

Well, those are a handful of the many lessons Sex and the City taught me. I’d love to hear what lessons you have incorporated into your life as a fan of the series and the movies. And since there won’t be any more premieres of this beloved show, here’s to writing and starring in our very own fabulously stylish and uniquely lived lives every single day.

30 Habits To Support Your Life and Happiness

Sandy Hibbard — Mon, 25 Jan 2016 18:00:55 +0000

Artwork by Valentina De Felice – De Happy Drawings on Facebook and Tumblr.

30 Habits To Support Your Life and Happiness

Life has enough obstacles and challenges by itself that we don’t have to make it harder by adding a bad attitude or a stupid decision (ok, I know that SOMETIMES we are going to do that just because we’re human!) BUT, I believe we really can make it easier on ourselves.

We can prepare ourselves for a successful day, a wonderful life, by setting up patterns and habits that support the life we want.

It can be as simple as changing some of the basic decisions we make and actions we do everyday. Getting out of our own head helps too. Get rid of the drama and strife – in all forms – past and future – and focus on embracing each moment (a lifelong challenge and journey for me indeed!)

I’m sharing 30 suggestions to help you keep the anxiety and complexity OUT and the simplicity and peace IN your life. Don’t laugh, some of these are simple, but trust me, they carry amazing value!

1. Drink more water
2. Take deeper breaths
3. Respect your feelings, assess what you are truly feeling and why, then respond accordingly
4. Let go of the past
5. Stop spending so much money in hopes that it will bring more happiness
6. Depend upon yourself to discover happiness, not others
7. Move your body – walk, run, take a zumba class – move your most precious gift – a healthy body
8. Involve yourself in relationships that are uplifting, healthy and respectful
9. Stop the competition mindset and instead focus on discovering and embracing YOUR strengths
10. Give yourself at least 30 minutes a day to just be by yourself
11. Care about someone or something (pet, charity, etc) as much as you care about your own life
12. Clean up after yourself – as you go
13. Never go to bed mad, especially at a loved one
14. Read more
15. Cook more meals at home
16. Let go of jealousy and instead recognize and foster your own gifts
17. Say less, listen more
18. Stop being involved in gossip – whether sharing or receiving
19. Change your oil every 3 months and rotate your tires
20. Keep your standards high instead of lowering them to be accepted
21. Never leave a dirty kitchen, clean it up after each use
22. Tell the truth – good heavens just be honest!
23. Send thank you cards
24. Be true to your word
25. Don’t take things personal, everyone comes from their own perspective, their own dream of their life, it has nothing to do with you
26. Limit your alcohol
27. Let go of perfection, and instead simply DO YOUR BEST
28. Take responsibility for yourself – stop blaming others
29. Don’t assume anything, if you don’t know, ASK!
30. Accept that you will have to work hard to attain what you desire and then get busy

I know there are many other habits that you could come up with that have helped you to overcome and secure more happiness and an inner joy and peace, so why don’t you share them with us!!

I Choose!

Sandy Hibbard — Mon, 24 Mar 2014 17:52:59 +0000

“I am not what happens to me. I choose who I become.”
~ Carl Jung

Someone told me once that you can live your life by consequence or you can live your life by choice. I want to live by choice. It is not always easy, in fact, it is usually a challenge. When you take control of your own life and decisions, when you consciously choose your path and how you will live it – there is peace and satisfaction, joy and reward. I believe it is the road less traveled, but along that road is beauty untold…

Love and Hugs!
Sandy

Amazing painting by: Hans Jürgen Diez – “Portrait”

For My Son

Sandy Hibbard — Sat, 08 Feb 2014 13:55:36 +0000

Sons are the one original love of a mother’s life. You fall in love with them before they’re even born and the love that develops through the years is a magical bond stronger than steel and sweeter than honey. I know that’s how I feel about my son. Here is a beautiful poem written by my dear friend (and poet) about her little guy, Noah. Noah is my godson and is no “little guy” anymore but a beautiful, talented and compassionate teenager. I wanted to share this for both our sons. Thanks Kelli for sharing it with me! XOXO

For My Son

These big man hands were once
Creating crafts of clay
With little fingerprints left in
Little cracks, little dents
This once small heart,
Afraid of the dark
Now is large and knows
Real fear, real sorrow
Once tears for scrapped knees
And broken things
Now knows the angst of a broken
Heart that must keep beating
That little head once framed by
Dark curls while the world unsullied
Slipped by,
Now tosses and turns to the music
Of lost hope’s time
Those little feet that danced in joy
For no other reason than they could
Now trips over the shroud
Of meant-to-bes and shoulds
Once swaddled by dreams, soft smiles, little lashes
Trembling in sweet sleep
Now knows the terror of waking
To a heart breaking
Knowledge has given you wings
But reality has its sting
And now your tears will know
Why they’re cried-
You will go on
Your heart will be stronger for the battering
And your soul will be whole despite the tatters
You will find your song in the promise
Of the broken wings that still can fly
You will be free, you will be free
For there is still music and joy
And beauty and this is the way of the world
A circle of beginnings and endings,
Of joy and sorrow, of tears and laughter
Of music and silence
Of dancing and stillness
Love will come and go
But it is always here, an indestructible force
That just lies dormant waiting for you to uncover it
Or it will surprise you with an ecstasy unconfined,
Deep, like ancient wine
You will weep, but you will sing
You will walk in darkness, you will fly in light
You will dash your heart across the stones
But you will hold it to the fire
You will love, desire and fight
You’ll gain the day and own the night
You’ll hold the river’s flow
You are stronger than you know
© Kelli Geopfert
Photos by Alain Laboile

Dig Deep to Grow Strong

Sandy Hibbard — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 22:40:03 +0000

Dig Deep to Grow Strong

It seems like I am always writing when I travel….lately more than any other time! It is fun to sit on the plane, unload my Macbook, and take a look at what I had written from the previous trip. Occasionally I am delightfully surprised to discover something pretty cool I have written, and other times, well, I just find ramblings, or unfinished thoughts put to words. It’s no different on tonight’s flight to NYC.

Looking for the Muse

I have been looking for my muse lately, but he has been very quiet and a bit melancholy. He usually comes around when I am suffering from that pathetic longing to be with a lover, or when my heart has been broken or misunderstood – or their memories. I have come to learn that love and the lack of it (unfulfilled desire), and all things soulish and sensual, will usually bring on the muse. Harsh little bastard. But when he does come, there is a flood of thoughtful, organized, and well sequenced emotions. Followed by an intense desire to see things deeply, to understand more clearly – love more completely.

A strange and powerful thing begins to happen, clarity comes, a resolve to embrace all that is happening takes hold of me, and I am ready to take it on – fight the battle, kick the shit out of love, and bring on my power! The lost and longing feelings seem to get put on the back burner and are replaced by a strangely welcomed feeling of total abandonment from the world – a warming hush wrapped in tears and pain (my god that sounds masochistic!) and pouring out of my soul.

Out of these museful moments will flow some damn good words, giving me direction, clarity, courage, and insight. These are the things I like to discover when I open up my MAC on a plane. It’s like finding a treasure in the tiny play-closet where I would bury myself in fantasy when I was a little girl. But that sly muse, he has been playing games with me, keeping me tottering between disaster-desire-fulfillment-release. It has been quiet lately.

She’s Learning to be a Tree

In a rush today, he smiled at me. Ever so briefly, but he smiled and I felt it. There was no conjuring or cajoling, just a simple idea he popped into my head as I sat out by my pool for a quick respite to assess what else needed to get done before I could leave for the airport and get on this plane. I looked across the pool and noticed “Lacey” (yes my plants are given names) standing straight and strong blowing in the breeze and being kissed by the sun. The muse said “She’s learning to be a tree”.

Lacey is a fine little lady. She is some type of ming plant. She has spindly limbs that I braided into a single trunk when she was a baby, and small delicate lace-like leaves. She was originally a house plant, given to me by a dear friend before she moved off to London on a great marriage adventure about 13 years ago… and she (Lacey, that is) has been through hell. As for my friend who gifted Lacey to me, she’s ok too, but had her own hell to endure. She returned from London within the year heart broken after learning that her MR. had other MRS.’s scattered about the world!

Through the years Lacey has adventured with me through corporate life, self employment, love affairs, marriage, divorce, moving, rehearsals, dinners, and even survived my traveling. As Lacey began to grow, she really began to take shape, taking on her own sexiness – long arms and legs, delicate features. But shame on you if you didn’t do her just right! She would pout, drop leaves and even wilt like she was depressed (sound familiar ladies?). But a little love and a whole lot of water always made her beautiful again. When I moved her to her first new BIG pot, she flourished, took over the entire corner of the house where she stayed. Next pot, even bigger, she grew so fast and so tall that her top limbs had to bend over at the ceiling. It was like she was trying to sneak a peek at who was on the couch in the atrium and spy on what they were doing…

The First Taste

As a women I can testify that the first taste is always the best. It also seems like it is what “gets” you! Remember the first kiss? The first time you really made love? The first sip of a fabulous glass of French wine, the first bite of chocolate, the first time he touched you? The first time you “got by with it”? Lacey had her first time 2 years ago and she has never been the same.

Being a house plant that had been sheltered from the harsh extremes, Lacey had virginal skin. I never thought I would need to move her outside…until she outgrew my house. I would give her hair cuts frequently, trim the tops back, prune her limbs, but yet she would grow fuller and taller. Finally two summers ago, after a painful winter of whining, Lacey made it clear that she was not happy in the house anymore. So with careful thought I decided to let her try it, I will move her outdoors. There was a perfect place for her under the eave in the back by the pool, north exposure and next to the back door and windows. I thought this would be a great spot for her since you could see her through the atrium window, and she was so pleasant to look at. I struggled to get her outdoors by myself, but I did. After loosing a few minor limbs and lots of leaves (she was really about to freak out), Lacey had a new home. I sat her in her big pot on top of the soil in my flower bed, knowing that the moisture from the soil would keep her roots happy and entice them to find their way from the hole in the bottom of the pot to the dark, rich Texas soil of the flower bed. And they did. That summer two years ago I think Lacey was going through puberty. She grew with lightening speed – her trunk large and stout, her leaves greener and bigger – she was turning into a tree! She was the prettiest I had ever seen her…

Without event or problem, Lacey took root and made her new home in the soil by my back door. But I was afraid. Afraid that when winter came she would not be able to handle it, afraid she would die. After all, she was just a house plant that grew.

Never the Same

The first cold snap came that year and it was time to bring Lacey in for the winter. I found a place for her in the atrium, an area of the house with tall ceilings so she could stretch out. The process of moving Lacey and her pot from the patio soil back into the house was painful. The only way to get her up and off the soil was to separate her roots that had grown into the soil from the pot. Good Lord, talk about pouting! I am not sure she ever forgave me for that ordeal, but she made it and back into the house she went!

Lacey had tasted fresh air, sunshine, moonlight, starlight, birds, flowers, bees, butterflies, and water like she had never known before, she would not be the same. That winter after I moved her indoors, she became sick. Anorexic. She would not drink her water, she would pee it out as quickly as I poured it in. She grew skinny and weak – but she grew and she grew tall as if to say “see? I can grow taller than this house, you can try to keep me in but I will always grow taller than these ceilings”.

Growth is Permanent

Lacey had made her point. We struggled that winter indoors but I knew the time had come that I had to let her go. I had to lose my fears and let her be her own tree. As soon as Spring came and the fear of freezing was gone, I quickly moved Lacey back outside, but this time in a different place for she had grown too tall to be under the eave of the house. Sickly and skinny, I was concerned that she would not make it, but my worries soon were over at the first sight of new growth on her limbs and new shoots in areas that she had never had before. Lacey was turning into a young lady. She had experienced that first taste of nature and knew it was her home. She was where she belonged. But the question that was still tormenting me was how can this tender house plant make it outdoors permanently? She may look like a tree, but in my mind she was still a delicate ming houseplant!

Funny how we grow and change, change and grow. Our little babies turn from cherub-like creatures to humans who look and act like us. Lacey was starting to look like she belonged out there. No longer the tender green-leafed house plant, she was looking like a tree. Similar to when we see our baby – son or daughter – began to spread their wings and make their own decisions, grow independent, develop grownup emotions, become sensual, and struggle with the same longings as we do. Change is inevitable. You have to let go. They have to be able to test their own being and become what they are meant to become. Each individual is in control of their own destiny. As a mother, lover, friend, daughter, sister, and family member, I can influence, worry, throw a fit and cry, teach, be an example, love, shelter, feed, train and protect all day long – but I cannot control what someone else will choose to become. Lacey chose to become a tree.

The flight to NYC is quite bumpy tonight, I hit my head on the way back to the toilets because I was tossed into another man’s seat! The muse has been at work during this flight and I am again filled with such a sense of “okay-ness” despite the rough ride. I think Lacey is too.

Freedom to Grow

After two summers in the sun and Lacey’s continued exposure to all the delights that nature offers – this was her first taste of real freedom – I don’t think I can ever take her back inside the house. I had planned a trip abroad for six weeks, so I had to make a decision before I left the country… I knew that my plants and pool would be taken care of while I was gone but I wasn’t so sure that Lacey would get all the water that she needed/wanted. I rolled her from her place on the patio and made the life or death decision to let her go. To go to the wild. To be a tree. I dug the hole deep and lovingly planted her by the fence where, after much observation and thought, I had decided was where she would get the best water, and the best mixture of shade and sun. I stood back and saw that it was ok, it was good for Lacey. Now faith would have to work.

It’s funny how we worry about things that we have no control over. Why? It must totally be a natural thing because everyone does. But think about it….why? Why do we concern our minds and our energies with things that we have absolutely no influence over? I think it’s love. Because we love, we care. Because we care and are emotionally attached, we want the object of our love to be well, prosperous and happy. But many things that are connected with love and our feelings cannot be controlled, we have to let them have their own natural outcome. I am trying to learn this in my own life now, how to let go and let things just “be”. How to love unconditionally and let the outcome flow naturally, unconditionally, without my interference.

Unconditional Love

It is an unconditional love I have for Lacey. I am not playing a game with her to see how she does or how she will respond to me. There is nothing I will get from Lacey but the satisfaction of seeing her grow and the memories I will have when I look at her. There is nothing I require of her, nothing I am scheming for….just her well-being. So I serve her. I feed her, water her, nurture her and do my best to provide the best environment for her growth according to my knowledge. But what she eventually will become is out of my realm of control.

As I head back to DFW today, I am not sure what to expect. I will simply have to believe in nature and wait. It has dipped into the low 20’s in Dallas since I have been gone. It has rained, the sun has shined, and it even snowed a bit…..on Lacey…will she be ok? Then I remember what my muse whispered to me before I left last week – “she is learning to be a tree” – so I will trust that. And in a strange way I think my muse is suggesting that just like Lacey is bravely learning to dig deep and grow strong, so am I.

Flow like Water Grow like a Tree

Sandy Hibbard — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 09:08:37 +0000

Growing natural and strong
No doubt you have a personal goal list started that keeps you on track on how well you are doing in your life. Your vision to expand your business, grow, improve your skill set, make more money, lose more weight, be a better person, stop smoking, cut back drinking, etc etc etc. It seems the thing we are programed to do, right? And it’s a good thing, right? But do you ever get sick of the put-on facade you see sometimes when people are trying TOO hard? Setting goals is key, and embracing positive change is awesome, but when you try too hard to be “good”, or stay “positive”, it’s a little bit funny, sometimes just too fake. I want to think about growth in me as a natural outcome of my heart, my roots, my motives. Just how far can we go with that? If we let go of some things in simple trust and flow with life, can we also expect a good outcome? Can we let go a little and give control up to that pure flow?
I snapped this photo of this ancient oak down in Kyle Texas and when I recently looked at the photo it reminded me a a poem I had written about growth and a tree – here is it, see if you can see the correlation between this poem and what I wrote in the paragraph above. One thing I love about nature, it just is. It doesn’t struggle against itself. It gives in to the natural condition of things – a beautiful mystery.
Tree of Transition
Towering tree of transition
Your leaves are green and fastened
Your bark is tender
Limbs are fine
Rested
Settled tree in time
May I see myself in the green
Can I hope for leaves unseen – still
Will inches add and fullness fourish
Let it be
Don’t disturb this tree
It’s better left that way
It grows in simple trust – thrust
Through to new growth
Reflecting a core of beauty and strength
Chance and the quiet confidence of
Knowing
Growing
Into what it knows to be
Love and peace and unhindered growth!
Sandy

June 27

Sandy Hibbard — Thu, 19 May 2011 09:52:59 +0000

JUNE 27

Saturday soul, birthday soul, living soul, precious soul
Mixture of love and spirit, insight and hunger, strength and frailty
Growing up, letting go, diving in
Saturday soul, birthday soul, moving soul, empty soul
Filling the void, finding the space, living in grace
Embracing my youth as a guide to old age
Saturday soul, birthday soul, wandering soul, giving soul
Passion’s spring of joy returning with the gift of living
Mystery, exploration, finding me whole
© Sandy Hibbard