Thank you to love that has brought me unbelievable pain.

Thank you pain for teaching me how to navigate circumstances with my mind and a grateful heart.

Thank you to my mind for being strong, clear, resilient, ever curious about how things work.

Thank you grateful heart for learning to accept things without judgment and embrace the gifts I have.

Thank you for acceptance without judgment that teaches me tolerance and love.

Thank you tolerance that helps me to forgive and move forward in my own power leaving bitterness, hatred and envy behind.

Thank you for love that has brought me unspeakable joy.

Thank you joy for transforming my life with just a simple change in attitude.

Thank you  change of attitude for helping me remap my own feelings so that I experience honesty and awareness in my life today.

Thank you today for giving me NOW, the moment I live, the opportunity to love, learn, explore, play and work, and for every imaginable opportunity that life holds.

Thank you opportunity, thank you for always being there.

Your voice is often soft and quiet, and many times you are not in the light where I can see you, but if I pay attention, you are always there…. thank you!  

© Sandy Hibbard 2020

When the pain
and the piano keys
need no voice
to carry the
ache of the loss
you felt
the moment you
laid eyes
on the one
you can
never hold
in the morning.

~ C.S  [Christina Strigas]

Beautiful things come out of horrible situations.
I know for a fact.

Out of sadness you get a new found wisdom on how the world can look with a haze of gray clouds,
how people can be senseless,
how you can see the whole universe in a whole new way.
That may be hard to handle, hard to cope, hard to accept,
but it is so damn beautiful if you really seize the moment to realize.
Out of anger, you can feel your heart beat race, with every beat it is shaking your whole being –
and not only with the heavy steps you take, but shaking with awareness, with focus, with a presence of BEING in the NOW.
This is when you, your whole self and being is telling you that you are alive. It is connecting to the energy of the Universe – the collective of all human beings.
It is amazing from every angle.
It is YOU
Being.
Out of anything there is something.
The creative power of the human spirit.
The healing power of love and acceptance without judgement –
of yourself
of others.
Incredible aliveness.
All that makes you shine.
Whatever you feel is a blessing.
Whatever you feel means you are alive.
 
Taken from post by WomenInLove on Tumblr.

As time goes by, I am thoughtful and aware of the people who have been in my life, and surprisingly, those people who no longer play an active role in my life as well. I want to share my thoughts about those people, the lost ones.  It’s a painful thing, to loose a relationship. When I do, I can’t help but think about them and mourn them, I constantly try to find a remedy for the loss because I am the kind of person that finds it very hard to let someone go.  I love people and I am loyal, it has always been difficult for me to breakup or loose someone I have loved.

Today I am thinking about those people who I have loved, who have touched me, who I have shared my heart with, and those who have been woven into the fabric of my life…but, for whatever reason, chose to dissolve the relationship.  Some were sudden, painful endings, while others were simply a drifting apart. Some are gone – not because of death or tragedy or because I asked them to go – but because they chose to move on.  Perhaps it was due to misunderstandings, selfishness on their part, or simply something stupid that makes you rub your head and go “whaaaaat?”  That is what really bothers me! I tend to want to go back, hunt them down and say “what did I do wrong?” “You misunderstood me!”  “What happened, why the coldness, why have you shut me out?”  Nevertheless, you and I both know that doesn’t work, so I am reckoning that it is best to let these people go.

When people, on their own accord, move on, you have to let them.  It is for their reasons and their’s alone that they are leaving.  What do THEIR ACTIONS have to do with you? Yes, they AFFECT you, but they really do not have anything to do with you. Their ideas and perceptions create their opinions that draws their conclusions! You can’t change that. That is THE hardest thing to accept for me – that I can’t change their mind or their heart, I simply have to say “ok” and let them go.  I have experienced this several times in my life and each time I thought I would die, but I didn’t.  I had to learn to let go.

With that said, I am on a mission to understand, and honestly try to find the good in each lost relationship.  Part of that mission is to balance the scales of my own heart and learn how to settle the score (so to speak) within myself.  It is an opportunity to grow and become more aware as I learn to love purely, accept without judgment, and continuously check my heart, motives, and actions.  (And guess what? It takes a lot less energy to do my own check-ups than to attempt to check up and monitor everyone else!) I can’t do anything about the lost ones, but I certainly can do something about me.  That is where the growth happens and understanding begins to bring enlightenment.

My dear friend and life coach “Dr K” has for many years taught me the importance of accepting things for the way they are. Forgiveness is good but still leaves a hole that you feel like you must fill with answers.  Forgetting is wonderful, but can rob your life of happy productive years.  So, take a minute and ponder acceptance without judgment.

To my point – if you accept the actions of someone who has hurt you, and acknowledge that what they did and the pain it caused was THEIR doing and not yours – it has the power to release you from the effects of their actions. They did what they did for their own reasons; there is no way I can control their thinking and actions, so I must let it go.

The “without judgment” can be a tuff one, but I believe it is hand and glove with acceptance and being able to move on.  When I am present with myself and aware of who I am, letting someone go without judging them becomes enlightening to my own heart.  It takes the weight off me so that I can seek my own awareness  based on who I am and not what someone else thinks of me or needs/doesn’t need from me.

As I said, I am on a mission of discovery.  I am on a journey of “seeing” and “being”.  Sometimes this isn’t so easy for me, because accepting and not judging leaves me no other choice but to let it go and move on with my life. I can’t fix it.  I can’t fix them.  I am sure that loss of relationships and friendships isn’t easy for you.  And, like me, I bet that accepting things as they are sometimes is a struggle.  So, I encourage you to join me in my mission: Love and discover yourself, get in-tune with your own heart and motives, accept that you cannot change someone else’s perspectives and therefore their decisions – no matter how close you are to them – but you CAN develop and know your own perspectives and boundaries.  Be willing to learn from your losses and allow your understanding to grow. Why? A million reasons why!!  But here’s a good one: Because there are more relationships and other opportunities that await those of us who are looking for them!

Love and Hugs,
Sandy