We are fragmented into so many different aspects. We don’t know who we really are, or what part of ourselves we should identify with or believe in. So many contradictory voices, dictates, and feelings fight for control over our minds that we find ourselves scattered everywhere in all directions, leaving nobody home. Stop then, get centered, quieten yourself and meditate. This is the only way to bring our mind home.

~ Sogyal Rinpoche

Comparing ourselves to others, even those we may admire tremendously, is the surest way to stifle or even lose our own power. While others may be quite inspiring, their path is not ours; ours is not theirs. As such, comparisons can only hinder our progress with ourselves and our relationships with others. The idea is to graciously accept each day as a gift of time that allows us to further uncover and discover our own power.

~ @SilverDisobedience

This is one of the most important things we will learn in life – to accept ourselves as we are.

It’s so easy to say, and man can we girls tout this philosophy at our book clubs and get-togethers, but then we race to the makeup counter and the botox clinic to improve those little things that we think make us look less perfect. Here’s something: you will never be perfect! Perfection lies within the acceptance of your own beauty. How you carry yourself, your attitude, joy, your confidence, THAT is what makes your natural beauty shine.

So back to the comparing thought… We live in a youth culture. We are confronted, often assaulted, with flawless beauty and extreme perfection everywhere we go – technology and social media exacerbate it 24/7. It’s hard to be ok with our flaws. I get it! I am a woman living and working in a youth culture of Instagram and influencers that eat botox for breakfast. I have to remind myself that there are no smoothing apps in real life. This is it baby! And you know what? At the end of the day, I’ve learned to be ok with myself. I have learned to even be dazzled by the imperfections that make me a unique human being.    HOWEVER, I dare not go down the rabbit hole of comparing myself to 30-somethings, if I do, I will surely lose my shit!

Women and men rise up to your beauty!

Accepting yourself right where you are is the beginning of realizing your own personal power. Living in the moment and understanding that it is a gift, is the place where love is born – love for yourself and others. Healthy acceptance without nasty judgement frees you from the constraints of fear.  My #SaturdaySoul for you and I both today is simply to rise up and embrace your unique beauty – let your joy, your love, and your own personal power soar!

XOXOXOXO

After so many years as a woman hearing “not thin enough, not pretty enough, not young enough or smart enough” almost overnight I woke up one morning and thought, I am enough.

~Anna Quindlan

There is no question to me that having PURPOSE drives more confidence in a woman than just about anything else… short of red lipstick maybe!

 
Beauty regimes, great bodies and fashion savvy are excellent confidence boosters… why?  Because on the surface it make us feel pretty, or handsome, desirable, and good about ourselves. There is nothing more powerful than a fresh mani-pedi, new lingerie, or a fabulous outfit to make us feel attractive and sexy.  However, these outward things are not the only ways to increase our confidence.
Confidence, like fitness, is not a given and for most of us doesn’t come naturally. They both must be practiced regularly, they require time, energy and discipline to yield results. When the results come, nothing can be better.
Confidence is the most attractive feature an individual can possess – that along with a genuine smile. Too much confidence though can appear narcissistic and un-attractive; too little comes across as depressive and morose, making us feel lost not only to ourselves but also to those around us. Building our confidence happens over time with small steps and building good habits. There is no secret sauce or magic pill that will give you instant confidence; nothing here that I’m sure you haven’t heard before. However, as we get deep into the demands of daily living, the stress of finances, family, the social scene, and all our favorite foods, I thought a little reminder would do us all good!
Ten Easy Ways To Boost Confidence
1 – Smile more often
Smile more often and make yourself smile when you don’t feel in the mood. It is surprising how a smile can bring out the best in people, even in less positive circumstances. Smiling takes years off the face, and makes you glow, so make a good habit of turning that resting bitch face upside down and smile!
2 – Surround yourself with positive people
Negativity brings us down and serves us badly. Spend time with those who are uplifting. It makes a world of difference. Seek out fun, energetic places to work, have coffee, or just hang out in your spare time. It’s incredible what the energy of other positive-minded people can do.
3 – Challenge the comfort zone
Break the mold and try something unfamiliar, set a goal, focus, and see it through. You will be surprised at what a booster our accomplishments can be. Don’t set the goal posts too far out, small successful steps are the way to build self-esteem and gain confidence.
4 – Take time for yourself
Make more of an effort with your appearance, dress for yourself and dress for success. My Auntie Dee taught me to create beauty in everyday life even if you are single – cook delicious meals, set the table, light the candles, and put out fresh flowers. Find the time for those activities that give you pleasure. Women have a habit of never having time; we need to make time.
5 – Act with purpose
It is important to make every moment count and to do what we do to the best of our ability. Feeling half hearted will never yield the result we are looking for and will ultimately bring us down and sap our confidence. Focusing on activities and work that matters to your heart and to the lives of others is a powerful confidence booster. There is no question to me that having PURPOSE drives more confidence in a woman than just about anything else, short of red lipstick maybe!
6 – Work on Posture
Present the image that you desire. Standing tall gives the impression of confidence even if you are shaking inside. Focus on your body in small intervals and leave the hunched shoulders behind. Easier said than done, I know, so practice! My niece Melissa taught me the “power-pose” – stand erect, arms stretched up and in a wide “V”, chest out, head up, and hold it for 2 minutes while saying a positive affirmation about yourself – out loud. Do this 2 minutes each morning.
7 – Compliment and Praise
Complimenting others has many benefits and not only for the recipient. Complimenting encourages observation and sensitivity, characteristics we aspire to. Making their day kick up a notch is as good as winning the lottery. Thinking about others does sound trite but it works. Giving to others elicits such a feeling of wellbeing and that means greater confidence. Paying attention to the moment and being aware releases us of worry and anxiety and releases a joyful self confidence.
8 – Exercise
Increasing our fitness is one advantage but more importantly, exercise makes us mentally stronger and more positive minded. Never under estimate the power of a long walk or a yoga session. I call it getting my “brain drugs” – walking, hiking, or jogging, clears my head, gives me energy and releases my creative mind.
9 – Laugh
Sometimes it doesn’t come easily. Try, it does wonders for the confidence. The feel good factor of a belly laugh brightens the eyes, gets the heart pumping and keeps the smile alive. I love the line in “Eat Pray Love” where the guru tells Julia Robert’s character to “smile from the liver”… pull that smile, that laugh, up from deep within your being.
10 – Red lipstick
When all else fails, I put on the red lips and pull my hair back in a neat chignon. It helps, I promise.
Image Monica Bellucci
 
 

Be encouraged today. Take charge of your journey – you are the captain of your ship. Throw out every dead weight that hinders your navigation, find your own perspective and steer yourself into clear waters!

XOXOX
Sandy