growing up – Saturday Soul with Sandy Hibbard

My OCD

Sandy Hibbard — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 15:55:11 +0000

My beautiful godson, Noah, just shared this insightful look into OCD. Please share this and let’s help spread the word that those who suffer with OCD are not alone! XOXOXO Sandy

My OCD – Noah Geopfert
First off, I never once asked for this
You’ve only caused pain and misery
Thank God the pain is taken away by her kiss
Sometimes, you can even affect my memory

You keep me up at night thinking about my tics
Did I place my ring next to my bracelet?
Did I alphabetize my guitar picks?
Did I accidentally step on a crack on the pavement?
Did I count the lines correctly on my wall?
Did I count the number of the stairs at school?
Are the pillows still sitting up tall?
It’s a shame that I only come off as a fool
Damn it, I forgot my bracelet at school today
That’s it, I’m now throwing up and hurled over
One little mistake and I am no longer okay
My mind goes blank, going slower and slower
I’m now paralyzed with fear without it
Words can’t even come out of my mouth
This fear makes me so mad that I could just spit
I’m crying now, my thoughts have gone south
Why oh why must I check for my phone every half hour?
I think I forgot to lock all of my doors
1,2,3,4,5,1,2,3,1,2,3 are the numbers of my flowers
Cleanliness, neatness, order, all needed chores
I swipe my deodorant on my skin 10 times
When I wake up, I’m already counting
8 steps to reach my bathroom, it’s all a rhyme
The numbers are simple but cause drowning
Did I wash my hands thoroughly?
I’m going over my to-do list for the 50th time
I’ve finally made it through the day, but narrowly
My sanity’s been stolen, isn’t that a crime?
Sometimes I even repeat my sentences over and over
Sometimes I even repeat my sentences
I don’t mean to, it just flows out
I don’t mean to
It could be a lot worse, but it’s certainly not fun
She helps calm and quiet my brain to make it find order
She keeps things bright just like the sun
You see, I’m simply a teen with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Ageless

Sandy Hibbard — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 17:39:33 +0000

Age is just a number (and damn that number!). With a birthday coming up, I couldn’t help but chuckle when I read this article this morning. We really are ageless if we want to be, if we are BOLD enough to change and grow and become increasingly aware of the present moment. There is an ageless beauty to being awake and aware, a cool inner quality that works like the Pied Piper to draw people to you because you bring a powerful joie de vivre. I love it. So here is to agelessness, and the quality of life at any age – to feel good, love good and live fabulously!

Have a great Monday…XOXOX

AGELESS

By Tammy Parkinson

Imagine a time when age wasn’t a number, but a feeling. Let’s pretend there were no clocks or birthdays to indicate our years on earth. Conceptualize that you wouldn’t know that wrinkles were good or bad (which they aren’t by the way) or that grey hair was even a marker of “age”.
Ok, do you have the visual? It’s a little relaxing isn’t it? There’s no pressure to be younger by the way you look. Instead, “age or youth” is about how we FEEL. When you wake up are you vibrant and energized, or tired, weary and in pain? Do you feel that you can breathe easily, think clearly and focus, or do you feel quite the opposite and have a difficult time moving, articulating and carrying through with your day?
What a concept to consider an ageless existence. I love the idea of feeling my age vs. someone putting me in a box because of the years I have spent on earth. Rather, do WE do that to ourselves? Do we pigeon hole ourselves because we are 30,40,50,60,70…etc and then fit that mold of what society tells us we should feel like, look like, act like?
I challenge you to go inward and decide what age you feel and if you like it, go with it! Enjoy your youthful feeling. If you don’t like it, change it and decide what you need to do on the inside (eat better, sleep more, exercise differently, reduce stress, etc) so that you can be that perfect you…whether that you is 19, 50, or 80 in chronological years…it’s up to you to go a little ageless by taking charge of what goes in to your body and mind.

For My Son

Sandy Hibbard — Sat, 08 Feb 2014 13:55:36 +0000

Sons are the one original love of a mother’s life. You fall in love with them before they’re even born and the love that develops through the years is a magical bond stronger than steel and sweeter than honey. I know that’s how I feel about my son. Here is a beautiful poem written by my dear friend (and poet) about her little guy, Noah. Noah is my godson and is no “little guy” anymore but a beautiful, talented and compassionate teenager. I wanted to share this for both our sons. Thanks Kelli for sharing it with me! XOXO

For My Son

These big man hands were once
Creating crafts of clay
With little fingerprints left in
Little cracks, little dents
This once small heart,
Afraid of the dark
Now is large and knows
Real fear, real sorrow
Once tears for scrapped knees
And broken things
Now knows the angst of a broken
Heart that must keep beating
That little head once framed by
Dark curls while the world unsullied
Slipped by,
Now tosses and turns to the music
Of lost hope’s time
Those little feet that danced in joy
For no other reason than they could
Now trips over the shroud
Of meant-to-bes and shoulds
Once swaddled by dreams, soft smiles, little lashes
Trembling in sweet sleep
Now knows the terror of waking
To a heart breaking
Knowledge has given you wings
But reality has its sting
And now your tears will know
Why they’re cried-
You will go on
Your heart will be stronger for the battering
And your soul will be whole despite the tatters
You will find your song in the promise
Of the broken wings that still can fly
You will be free, you will be free
For there is still music and joy
And beauty and this is the way of the world
A circle of beginnings and endings,
Of joy and sorrow, of tears and laughter
Of music and silence
Of dancing and stillness
Love will come and go
But it is always here, an indestructible force
That just lies dormant waiting for you to uncover it
Or it will surprise you with an ecstasy unconfined,
Deep, like ancient wine
You will weep, but you will sing
You will walk in darkness, you will fly in light
You will dash your heart across the stones
But you will hold it to the fire
You will love, desire and fight
You’ll gain the day and own the night
You’ll hold the river’s flow
You are stronger than you know
© Kelli Geopfert
Photos by Alain Laboile

The Rose that Blooms is a Rose

Sandy Hibbard — Fri, 28 Jun 2013 05:38:33 +0000

“The rose is without why it blossoms because it blossoms.”
– Angelus Silesius

I am closing the laptop and turning off the last of the lights as I bring this beautiful birthday, my birthday June 27, to a close. I feel so full, so satisfied, and rich with life and love. I have spent the day with some of my favorite people in the whole world – my family, my children. We talked, laughed, worked, shopped, played, swam and laid in the sun, cooked and had an amazing dinner and dessert. There was love and spirit and peace. Contentment. A lovely gathering of our hearts to celebrate our love for each other. I am blessed like the monk in Siem Reap told me, I am victorious – lucky in life! And I believe it!

Between swimming and sunning, talking and cooking, we would of course be on our iphones (as we are all pretty much a family of artists and geeks) checking in on Facebook and Twitter and reading our text messages. I had fun opening my online gifts and getting birthday greetings from so many lovely people that just wanted to wish me a great day.

Thank you, each of you, for taking the time to share your heart and give me a simple message that told me for a brief second you thought of me and wanted me to know – how wonderful is that?

I love the quote at the top of this blog post about the rose. I thought it was appropriate as it appears on my daily Zen calendar for today’s date. Please embrace the idea with me that we don’t have to worry about blooming, because we are too busy blooming! If we can just let go and allow life to flow through us, beautiful things will come out of the wonderful creation that we are. That lovely “thing” that is just meant to be – you!

All my love and gratitude for this day and the love that you have allowed to flow out of your heart to me. Happy Birthday me! It is great to be alive!

Love and peace,
Sandy

Listen to the Night Bird’s Song

Sandy Hibbard — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 12:06:58 +0000

Listen to the Night Bird’s Song

It’s getting hot, Summer is (almost) here and I have been sweeping leaves, planting flowers outside and inside, I’m going through old photos, trying to get them in albums and organized – always a chore! As I look through these photos they evoke so many great (and sometimes painful) memories, it is amazing how much we have all changed. My mom always said how she wants to “pick a bone with God” on why we had to get shriveled as we get old! Haha! Aging is beautiful – and as I get older I am trying to BEAUTIFULLY accept all that it brings. One of the things I love about my age is the heightened ability to see and hear. Yes, you heard me right. I am not talking about with my physical eyes and ears, but with my heart and spirit and senses.

I am a late night person, so I regularly experience the sounds and images of the night – the night bird’s song, the changing moon and placement of the stars. I love the night. I sometimes sit outside and write in my journal being inspired by the night bird’s song. Sometimes she is there, sometimes not. She is elusive and mystical, but always seems to come to me just when I need to hear the pure beauty that accompanies her song – when all else is still and quiet. Here is a little thing I wrote about that special moment when all attention is focused on the sounds that ARE.

Wings of Night

Calm me wings of night
May I rest in your song not flight
For God gave me not wings that soar
But wings of thought and more
More to see to dream to show
Calm may come where I may know
I’m human
Woman
My song may not always be heard
But it will be in the heart of the night bird
I greet the day before it opens
When the light comes the night bird quietens
Stills not stops
For the night is her home in the tree tops
Where does she go when daylight dawns?
Where does she take her calm?
Waiting
Anticipating
My elusive, mystical friend of the night
Save me a song when all is quiet

Image by michellepleasance

Flow like Water Grow like a Tree

Sandy Hibbard — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 09:08:37 +0000

Growing natural and strong
No doubt you have a personal goal list started that keeps you on track on how well you are doing in your life. Your vision to expand your business, grow, improve your skill set, make more money, lose more weight, be a better person, stop smoking, cut back drinking, etc etc etc. It seems the thing we are programed to do, right? And it’s a good thing, right? But do you ever get sick of the put-on facade you see sometimes when people are trying TOO hard? Setting goals is key, and embracing positive change is awesome, but when you try too hard to be “good”, or stay “positive”, it’s a little bit funny, sometimes just too fake. I want to think about growth in me as a natural outcome of my heart, my roots, my motives. Just how far can we go with that? If we let go of some things in simple trust and flow with life, can we also expect a good outcome? Can we let go a little and give control up to that pure flow?
I snapped this photo of this ancient oak down in Kyle Texas and when I recently looked at the photo it reminded me a a poem I had written about growth and a tree – here is it, see if you can see the correlation between this poem and what I wrote in the paragraph above. One thing I love about nature, it just is. It doesn’t struggle against itself. It gives in to the natural condition of things – a beautiful mystery.
Tree of Transition
Towering tree of transition
Your leaves are green and fastened
Your bark is tender
Limbs are fine
Rested
Settled tree in time
May I see myself in the green
Can I hope for leaves unseen – still
Will inches add and fullness fourish
Let it be
Don’t disturb this tree
It’s better left that way
It grows in simple trust – thrust
Through to new growth
Reflecting a core of beauty and strength
Chance and the quiet confidence of
Knowing
Growing
Into what it knows to be
Love and peace and unhindered growth!
Sandy

June 27

Sandy Hibbard — Thu, 19 May 2011 09:52:59 +0000

JUNE 27

Saturday soul, birthday soul, living soul, precious soul
Mixture of love and spirit, insight and hunger, strength and frailty
Growing up, letting go, diving in
Saturday soul, birthday soul, moving soul, empty soul
Filling the void, finding the space, living in grace
Embracing my youth as a guide to old age
Saturday soul, birthday soul, wandering soul, giving soul
Passion’s spring of joy returning with the gift of living
Mystery, exploration, finding me whole
© Sandy Hibbard