By Sandy Hibbard

What gives your life direction? That’s a good question, and a question we strive to answer throughout our life. A comforting thought to me is there is no one correct answer. Our direction comes from the many ‘cues’ we get throughout our journey. I like to think our direction is as fluid and winding as the water running down from the mountain. It definitely has a destination, but the flow can change course for many reasons. Life is much like that.

As we begin to gain consciousness and grow into a little person, our first cues come from our parents. They lay the ground work for our early lives. Our moms, dads, siblings, and extended family give us our first examples to follow – good or bad. They initially set the stage for us. As we grow older and we become more independent in our thinking, it is our environment that takes center stage and begins to influence our decisions and the choices we make.

Certainly factors like religion and culture will cue us to follow certain paths. Our teachers will inspire us, our mentors will help us hone our skills that will in turn help us achieve our goals and dreams, and our trusted loved ones will each have a profound influence over us. We become an amalgamation of all the things and people who touch our lives. All these people and environments have a profound effect on the direction we will take for our life. 

In my life, my sense of purpose and meaning was taught early from the religious beliefs that surrounded me. That set me in a direction to pursue the thing that I felt gave me purpose. My association with religion and being raised in a Christian pastor’s home was huge in giving me direction – miss guided or not – effecting my decisions on marriage, sexual relations, political beliefs, education, and more.

What gives direction to our lives varies greatly from person to person. We are each very unique in our thinking and our emotions; this is what makes humans so distinctively different from each other. But there is one central influence that often emerges in most people, and that is our sense of purpose or meaning.

A Sense of Purpose that Drives the Direction of our Life

Our sense of purpose and self-worth are multifaceted, arising from an interplay of internal perceptions, social interactions, biological mechanisms, personal experiences, and broader existential reflections. These elements not only shape our identity but also provide direction and motivation in our lives. Here’s a detailed breakdown:

1. Psychological Factors

• Self-Perception and Identity: How we view ourselves and our roles in the world significantly influences our sense of purpose. This self-perception is shaped by our experiences, achievements, and the feedback we receive from others.
• Intrinsic Motivation: Engaging in activities that align with our passions and interests can foster a strong sense of purpose. When we do what we love, we often feel more fulfilled and valuable.
• Personal Values and Beliefs: Our core values and beliefs provide a framework for understanding our purpose in life. When our actions align with these values, we tend to feel a greater sense of worth.

2. Social Factors

• Relationships and Community: Connections with family, friends, and communities can enhance our sense of belonging and purpose. Positive relationships provide support, validation, and a sense of being valued by others.
• Social Roles and Responsibilities: The roles we play in society, such as being a parent, friend, or professional, contribute to our sense of purpose. Fulfilling these roles successfully can boost our self-worth.
• Cultural and Societal Norms: Societal expectations and cultural norms influence our understanding of purpose. Different cultures emphasize different aspects of life, shaping what we perceive as meaningful.

3. Biological Factors

• Neurochemistry: Certain neurotransmitters, such as dopamine and serotonin, play a role in our feelings of happiness and fulfillment. Positive experiences and achievements can trigger the release of these chemicals, enhancing our sense of purpose and self-worth.
• Evolutionary Perspectives: From an evolutionary standpoint, having a sense of purpose can be linked to survival and reproductive success. Feeling valuable and purposeful can motivate individuals to contribute to their community and ensure the survival of their genes.

4. Personal Experiences

• Life Events and Milestones: Significant life events, both positive and negative, shape our sense of purpose. Overcoming challenges and achieving goals can enhance our self-worth, while setbacks can prompt reflection and growth.
• Learning and Growth: Continuous learning and personal development contribute to a dynamic sense of purpose. As we grow and evolve, our understanding of what gives our life meaning can change.

5. Spiritual and Philosophical Influences

• Spirituality and Religion: For many, spirituality and religious beliefs provide a profound sense of purpose and self-worth. These frameworks often offer answers to existential questions and a sense of belonging to something greater than oneself.
• Philosophical Reflection: Engaging in philosophical contemplation about the meaning of life and our place in the world can also shape our sense of purpose.

Our choices along the way will enhance or sabotage the direction of our life. Life events will absolutely change our course as will personal relationships and love interests. But at the foundation of it all is the overall sense of self-worth and purpose we carry with us. 

Embracing Spring’s Renewal 

Hello, beautiful Saturday souls! As we bask in the energy of the first day of Spring and this absolutely fabulous day, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of celebration. It’s not just about the blooming flowers or the warming sun; it’s about embracing the essence of new beginnings and the boundless potential that lies ahead.

Spring arrives, bringing with it a cascade of festivities like Nowruz, Easter and Passover, offering us opportunities to rejoice in the beauty of life, the comfort of hope, and the anticipation of prosperity. These occasions teach us profound lessons in forgiveness and rebirth, reminding us to cherish the love that weaves through and connects our lives.

Today, I find myself immersed in contemplation, welcoming a fresh awareness of my being and a renewed dedication to my craft. What will I do next? Where will my creativity take me this year? How can I give more, love more? I too am embracing forgiveness, faith, hope and love – as these things create the foundation of our humanity and connects us, infusing our lives with beauty.

My wish for each of you is a profound inner awareness, illuminating the magnificent human being that you are. May you find hope that transcends your circumstances, and may you recognize the depth of real love.

While we hustle and go about our busy daily life, I urge you to pause, to breathe, and to revel in the essence of Spring blooming IN and AROUND you. Let go of the past, and allow this present moment to guide you. Open your heart so that your light can shine, and allow your authentic self to ignite the world you live in with joy.

And speaking of sunshine, I couldn’t resist sharing this uplifting song with you all. Let’s groove to the rhythm of “Aquarius – Let the Sunshine In” (1969 style!) as we embrace love and peace in our hearts.

Aquarius _ Let the Sunshine In

Warmest regards ,

― C. JoyBell C.

Learning to be comfortable with yourself and to Spread Your Wings

For someone who was married most my life and now divorced, learning to be alone and trust and know my own self and my thoughts has been a challenge at times but an adventure toward priceless self-discovery!  I believe that living the fullness of our soul is in becoming increasingly aware of ourselves and the beauty and the magic we possess!

Love and peace!
XOXO
Sandy

The fear of the unknown can be very intimidating, daunting and at times debilitating. Ultimately, today is the only moment we have any control over, no matter what our goals are, no matter what we have our sights set on. We may be able to aid the outcome or hinder it, but so much is dependent upon how we take advantage of the bounty the world has to offer us each and every day.

Whether the uncertainty you have is in relationships, your career, your longevity or anything that keeps you up at night, the key is to always make sure your wings are spread. For example, in a relationship, it is better to trust and work toward something wonderful that you may be uncertain about(a future, a life together, etc) rather than to settle for something mediocre that while certain, may not be all that fulfilling. The same can be said for your career. It is only when you take a leap, when you do something slightly different than what you’ve been doing before that progress has the chance to happen.

Here are ten ways to practice spreading your own wings:

1. Look for the opportunity in every situation. Any time you find yourself in situations that are less than desirable, choose to see the opportunity for growth. Maybe a difficult situation at work allows you to hone your negotiating skills, or perhaps a failed relationship is allowing you to learn how to be a better partner and also how to communicate more clearly what you need in a relationship and what you can compromise on. Believe it or not, there is a silver lining to everything.

2. Always be observing as well as participating. This past year I have had more new and amazing experiences than I could have predicted when 2012 began, but through each experience I tried absorb as much as possible. For example, if you are in a new environment, take in all of the surroundings, cultural traditions and behaviors.  Drink in all of the inspiration that is just waiting to be captured. While you will most certainly want to participate, you will also want to be an observer of how and why things work – what you gravitated towards and what shocked you. Take note. Who knows when these observations could come in handy one day.

3. Ask questions of those who are the experts in the fields. If you are in a quandary, seek out experts in the fields you are curious about. If I have a question or concern about teaching, I often find myself calling up my mentor to ask her questions about teaching, or instead choose to read books by top researchers on topics that pique my interest.

4. Be willing to look foolish. Be willing to try, no matter what the outcome. Trying anything new can be intimidating partially because there is the fear that you may fail horribly. Well, of course this is a possibility! Think about a baby trying to walk for the first time. Many, many, many attempts are made immediately followed by tumbles to the floor before success occurs. But so long as you continue to try and fine tune what you learn from each experience, you will eventually build that muscle and find yourself standing without a hint of a wobble.

5. Keep a journal. Recording your thoughts in the present sometimes seems like a waste of time. However, just like a good bottle of red wine, well after you’ve tucked it away, the wisdom and truth begin to blossom. From my experience, it isn’t until a year has passed or more that I can look at the words I have written and see a pattern, or determine a passion, a curiosity or a purpose to my actions that may not have been visible initially in the moment. Give this amazing gift to yourself – keep a journal. You may be surprised by how much it could help guide you to where you are meant to go.

6. Don’t run from what you fear. Address it. Confront it. Ask why you are fearful. What are you fearful of – losing, feeling, discovering? After all, it is when we confront what we think we cannot that we gain confidence and strength rather than by doing what we already knew we could.

7. If traditional mores don’t suit your soul, try something else until you discover what it is about the tradition that makes you uncomfortable. Often it isn’t the entire event, but labels, preconceived notions and assumptions that go along with it. Dig deeper and understand what your instincts are trying to tell you. Then decide to create your own culture that suits your sensitivities, passions, values and curiosities.

8. Become comfortable with your own company. Embrace what you discover about yourself through all of life’s trials and adventures.

9. If you feel you aren’t being heard, attempt new and different ways of expressing how you’re feeling (write a blog, take photos, start painting, begin sculpting, try dancing, exercise your voice through your sartorial choices, etc). Most importantly, find a way to communicate with the world which is healthy, helpful and cathartic. By working through your thoughts and feelings, you are not suppressing yourself, thus allowing for the world to communicate with you based on how you interact with it. Often times, what it communicates is full of valuable suggestions on how to progress forward.

10. Don’t give up so quickly. Have patience. I would like to use my experience in blogging to explain why patience is something none of us should ever lose sight of. Nearly three years ago I began The Simply Luxurious Life (at that time it was only Simply Luxurious), and as I now meet fellow bloggers who are just getting started, I realize that they have just begun to realize the multitude of opportunities that await them so long as they continue with their craft even when there is no fanfare. Much like planting perennial bulbs in the fall, we won’t see or know their beauty until nearly six months later in the spring when we’ve forgotten about the time spent in the yard digging, spacing and kneeling to place them precisely where we want them to spring up. So continue to spread your wings, soak up all that life presents to you even if it doesn’t make sense at the time and trust that your continued efforts to live your best life on a daily basis are already paying off and will one day build to create an amazing legacy.

“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”  ~Henry David Thoreau

Thanks to the folks at Simply Luxurious for sharing their lovely ideas on living – be sure and stop by to visit them!

XOXO

Sandy

Within

Without

Should I be silent or should I shout?

Voices beg for attention

That perfect note

The chord that pulls you in

A powerful tug rolling me under

Pleasure pains forgetting

Not forgotten

My hearts desire

Unlawful

But why not carry on?

Throw it out on fertile ground

A season of flowering

Fragrant as it ever was 

Shorter than it ever was

No more backing up

Looking up

Shake it up

Time to plant your feet

Fill your cup

This is what you want

A note

A Song

That is not mine

Another’s passion story

Still I play it

Listening for a message

Of hope and direction

To shout or not

To love or not

To make love or not

Who is listening?

Who is watching?

If I trip or I fall

It’s nothing at all.

© Sandy Hibbard June 26, 2022

“The birth of a man is the birth of his sorrow. The longer he lives, the more stupid he becomes, because his anxiety to avoid unavoidable death becomes more and more acute. What bitterness! He lives for what is always out of reach! His thirst for survival in the future makes him incapable of living in the present.” ~ Chuang Tzu

This made me stop in my tracks. How true. How sad. Living in the moment is the only answer to truly living. We will not live forever, so finding that balance to living and loving now that will benefit generations… that is the challenge. Think on love. Explore it, ponder it, because it is complicated to the busy mind, but go after it and be challenged to know it’s true meaning in your life. xoxoxox Otherwise, I think we are all just chasing air.

sandyhibbardcreative.com

There are many of you who like me launched businesses in the early 2000’s who have weathered the storms of change over the last two decades. From the anxiety of moving from the 90’s to “Y2K”, to getting through 9/11, the crash in 2008, adjusting to social media and new technology, and now COVID. It’s definitely been a brewing pot for new stories, and lessons learned as we embrace different ways of doing business. Like Don in that final season of Mad Men when he lost everything before coming full circle into his potential, we must rethink our skills and behavior, albeit painful and not without consequence, to be taken seriously. Without the respect and recognition for his past accomplishments, when Don returned to Sterling Cooper, he had to prove himself all over again, regardless of his superior experience.

Today, if we are moving forward it is because we are seeing the new business climate as a challenge to embrace, and we are working to reinvent ourselves to accomplish that.  We have to learn to shift our thinking and ask “what are we doing to remain relevant, to adjust ourselves, in these new times?”.  We cannot rest on our accomplishments of 10 years ago, nope, we have to be willing to put ourselves out there, learn new things, create an environment for new accomplishments, and embrace new relationships.

“Change is neither good nor bad. It simply is.”

Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement… get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.

~ Abraham Joshua Heschel

I could not have said it any better. This is living in the moment. This is having a childlike heart. It is not a mystical or religious thing, it is turning our minds toward a different gaze, one of infinite possibilities and the miracle of life.

XOXOXO Have an amazing Day!

Sandy

We have so much more courage, strength and passion in us than we think we do.  I was reminded recently of an experience from a colleague about how much stamina it takes to live this life and “run this race”.  In a allegorical sense, we are on a 50-mile marathon in this life.  It is hard enough to do a 26-mile marathon, but really, 50 miles?!  So this guy sends tells me how he literally had just finished a 50-mile marathon and during his experience he noticed two huge things: #1 – it was a hell of a lot harder than he ever imagined it would be; and #2 – he had a lot more stamina than he ever imagined possible.  This reminds me of our lives.  We are all running that marathon of life and sometimes we get so exhausted and sore that we just want to sit down, give up, silently saying and sometimes crying loudly “I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!”

My tree “Lacey” bent over by the ice.

I remember about six years ago we had a horrible ice storm, we lost power and were literally unable to get out and about for a couple of days (this is very uncommon here in Texas).  When I went out to survey the damage around my house (I literally had to break the ice away from the back door), I looked outside and noticed my little tree “Lacey” was having a crisis (see my blog post about Lacey and growing strong). She had been going through a difficult time that winter.  It was only earlier that fall that I planted her outdoors in my garden – she was trying to grow from a houseplant to a real tree for the first time.  When I looked outside at Lacey, in horror I saw that this little spindly baby-tree was bent all the way over at her slender trunk and submerged in the water of my hot tub! The heavy weight of the ice on her delicate face of leaves had been more than she could handle.  The next two mornings when I awoke I would immediately go out to check on the little tree. Each day she seemed to pull herself up a little until finally, on the third morning when the air was warmer and the ice had began to thaw, there she was, standing upright again!

My point is this: life is like running a marathon and we are like a runner who, against all odds and sometimes facing a race that is harder than imagined, finds more strength and stamina than he knew. Just when he thought he couldn’t run another step, he pulls from within himself the will and determination to get across the finish line.

Many of us are like Lacey, who struggled against the weightiness of the ice on her leaves that eventually bent her over to a near breaking point. Yet when the ice began to thaw, she stood up again, not broken, not shattered or split, but standing tall.

There is so much inside each of us. We have an endless supply of passion, pain, love, hope, ambition, desire – the full range of the human spirit. Even though life sometimes seems disappointing and harder than you ever imagined it to be, remember, like the marathoner, you possess more than you ever thought possible.  When you are set on a destination and you engage your strong will, nothing can stop you.  So, during this winter, think about the little trees outside and what they go through to stand tall, the seasons of change they endure, yet life always comes back to a healthy tree.

Be encouraged today.  I am thinking about you and sending much love and many hugs and wishes for your continued growth in this life, and I pray that you are wishing it for me as well, for it is also my goal.

Love and hugs,
Sandy

Article first published in 2014 on SaturdaySoul.com.

XOXO Sandy

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Love Let Go Flow
Ahh life – the ever unpredictable, changing ebb and flow of love, understanding, joy, ecstasy and pain, longing and desire. There is no other way to navigate it except by lifting the rudder and allowing the current to take you out to the beauty of the unknown.
Two seconds… the first is gone and the second… is here.
Embrace it, love it, be in it.

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© Sandy HibbardImage © Lisa Kristine and available at LisaKristine.com