SAFE with Want and Desire our New (old) BFF's

Sandy Hibbard — Tue, 05 Nov 2013 13:19:07 +0000

I have to share a few thoughts on this poem I wrote. I actually wrote this months ago and yes, I was there in my favorite cafe with my headphones on when I suddenly realized how isolated I was from the world, that’s when these words came to me. I was reminded of them again this week in NYC when I was in a cafe and noticed that even if I wanted to have a conversation with someone, I couldn’t. Everyone was on their smartphone or laptop and in their own safe cocoon. How do we break through these techno-bubbles to really connect with a new person? Think about it and then share your thoughts with me. XOXO Sandy
Safe
want and desire
want and desire
they have schemed again with my mind
the great and mighty judge
to put me in my place
and keep me right where i belong
alone with my feelings
not good enough
not worthy of love
here i am wrapped up in my self-made
cocoon
of iTunes
ear buds in my ear
hands on my Apple
in the midst of a crowded
bustling Cafe Brazil
this is sunday brunch for me
nice and safe
no communication
no intimacy
no one can see me
just want and desire
i don’t have to expose who i really am
i don’t have to have a conversation
no eye contact for god’s sake
just good observation
safe here with my esteemed judge
alone with my favorite guys
want and desire
nice and safe
tucked away where no one can get to me
and where i certainly can’t get to anyone

Alone in New York City

Sandy Hibbard — Sat, 23 Mar 2013 19:09:51 +0000

I work alone (mostly) and travel frequently. Sometimes after a long trip when I have been working, I bring home with me more longing for connection and love than ever before. Funny, you can feel more alone in a large, populated place like NYC than a small town. Everywhere you look there are opportunities for love and for giving. You are confronted with humanity teeming all around you – all living, acting, breathing out their lives in full view of each other. I personally find it amazing at how connected we are, yet at the same time how estranged we are from each other. All the more reason for us to become AWARE and FOCUSED on that ONE thing, person, cause, purpose, and connection that makes us feel like we are part of something – and connected to our TRUE SELF. That ONE that makes our lives beautiful, that tells our hearts that we matter, that shares our story and confirms that we indeed are NOT alone. I write a post on the connection I felt with the crowd on the Brooklyn Heights Promenade on the 4th of July as hundreds, thousands, gathered to experience the fireworks. We were all connected in purpose, but pretty oblivious to each other. I especially find that daunting.
Snow Patrol does a song “Chasing Cars” and in the lyric he invites his love to join him in a repose –
If I lay here
if I just lay here
would you lie with me
and just forget the world?
Can we see that everyone is looking for someone, yet no one is really seeing each other? I guess its because we are so consumed with our own private lives and getting what we need, doing what we must. Do you dream of having that person that is absorbed into you and you into them? Someone who is fully aware of you as you are of them. Is that possible? I am not sure that I have been able to attain that in my life and in the relationships that I have had, but I long for it. Maybe for some it’s easy. But for many of us, it is difficult to overcome the expectations that have been engrained in us since we were little – perform well and you get rewarded – perform shitty and we are not chosen. It can be a bit challenging to just “lay here and forget the world”. To let go and BE. You feel guilty! You feel like you aren’t being validated, because you are not giving enough. Perhaps you are motivated by fear, that old fear when we were being domesticated that says you won’t have anything if you don’t follow, or the idea that you won’t have enough because you’re not GIVING enough. (And don’t get me wrong, giving is good, I am talking about awareness and a balanced give and take of life.) I told my niece recently that if I could go back when my kids were babies, I would go back and cut out 80% (maybe more) of the activities I was doing. I would slow down and watch them be little, there would be NOTHING more important than to “just lay there with them and forget the world”!
Forget what we’re told
before we get too old
show us a garden
that’s bursting into life!
If you look around you, you will see life brimming! I think sometimes we just need to let go and BE (you KNOW I feel that way!) Like the song says, “forget what you’re told” jump in, taste it because NOW is the time and you will never get this moment back.
Love & Peace
Sandy

loneliness – Saturday Soul with Sandy Hibbard

SAFE with Want and Desire our New (old) BFF's

Alone in New York City