losing love – Saturday Soul with Sandy Hibbard

Note to Self

Sandy Hibbard — Tue, 19 Mar 2024 03:52:32 +0000

Note to Self:

another weekend comes to a close

the music opens the scene

i sit alone again

wine in hand

music in my ears

memories of him

in my room

in my bed

it’s Sunday night

i’ll write

maybe send him a note

nope

i’ve done that

maybe i’ll write it down

another passage in my journal

post a lovers note

but i’ve done that

so many times before

he doesn’t read it

falls on deaf ears

blind eyes

never to see my heart

why?

when will the longing go away

when will my heart accept the truth

that it was only me

some weird need

and oh so real

he filled it for a minute

and I turned it into years

so is it finally over?

do i say goodbye?

no need

he already did that

A Bridge to You

Sandy Hibbard — Sat, 30 Mar 2019 08:56:24 +0000

A Bridge to You

I can’t run far enough away from myself

Wherever I go you are there in my memory

Despising the distance or

Painfully too close

Every map leads me back to you

Where is this journey ending?

It’s hard to keep pretending

Like the music on my playlist that I stole

That we shared

It wasn’t really mine to hold

But for a moment to enjoy

And I did

Every song, every rhyme, every story

You played right into my history

I’m so emotional, I thought that you were lost

But I still feel near to your heart

No matter how far apart

Let the records play

Of our love of those days

To remember the time and ease the pain

And bridge the distance of our love exchanged

© Sandy Hibbard 2019 March 29

13 Stops

Sandy Hibbard — Sat, 09 Mar 2019 08:48:56 +0000

I’ve been working on this piece for many months now. The idea for this post began with a train ride to visit a friend on the upper west side, actually I was meeting him at the Museum of Natural History. I remember getting on the train at the subway station nearest me on Clark Street in Brooklyn. It was a long ride – 13 stops – until I reached my destination. I took the video snippets on my phone sitting in the same seat for the duration of the trip. Later, I added photos to the video to support the story as it unfolded. At first, I envisioned 13 stops as a non-emotional visual of what it’s like to ride on a subway in NYC, it was simply a fun, creative experiment to pass the time on the train. But it changed. Soon to be leaving NYC to return to my family in Dallas, the poem took another form from what I had originally intended and became more of a reflection on love – love lost, delayed or threatened by the obstacles of life – in this case, metaphorically represented by the signs in the subway. I would be leaving the city and the people that I loved deeply. I wanted to share an idea of love lost to the basic entrapments we deal with every day. Come along with me and imagine the story of the man and the woman on the train… their love desperately trying to outrun and overcome their realities.

Watch the video then read the poem, then watch the video again….

XOXOXOO
Sandy

https://saturdaysoul.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Adobe_Spark_Video-1.mp4

13 Stops

13 stops took a toll from us each time

We moved in and out but never crossed the line

Unawarely preoccupied with too many signs

1 – do not lean

2 – do not hold

3 – it’s the gap you should mind

Unattached as we thought

Our words were blurred and our time got crossed

Despite the rules it was love that we sought

But still…

4 – wait for the priorities

5 – and please don’t enter this space

6 – don’t cross my track

7 – no no no, you’ll be gone without a trace

8 – there’s no exit from here

9 – so please watch your back

And that’s how it was, it was all just like that

Signs to keep you safe, keep you out, keep you in

Signs for where you’re going, where you are and where you’ve been

But rules are rules, they broke us, they win

10 – NO smoking, no trashing, just walk

11 – no music from a box

……[it’s forbidden]

12 – Aaaaand STOP!…. like your love

13 – this train has ended

On leaving NYC Fall 2018 ~ © Sandy Hibbard 2019

Look the Other Way

Sandy Hibbard — Sat, 02 Mar 2019 08:54:06 +0000

Look the Other Way

You say you understand

“I get you”

That’s sweet

I really need you to

But let me take you by the hand

And walk you through

A broken shattered soul

Full of cracks and gapping holes

A heart broken crushed

I know it doesn’t seem like much

But how could you possibly see

The pain that’s lived in me

Let me show you

How a shamed life is born

Of fear that turns to spite

Malice and strife

I could say it ruined my life

But yet I’m here

I faced the scorn

Easy for you to say

“Just look the other way

It was a long time ago”

There is so much you just don’t know

So many lost gems

In the upheaval of my soul

Too many opportunities laid to waste

Buried with anger in haste

I had to do the work

To pull myself back up

To end the hate and heal the hurt

It took a lifetime of mending

Lost dreams

Love ending

It took a million years

To look through the pain

And accept the love

Left by the stain

To become familiar with

The brokenness

“Let it go and let it rest”

Yes, I did it at my own request

So be quiet and respect

We all arrive in our own time

What I feel is not a crime

I don’t need to be hushed down

Or smile when everyone’s around

But thank you for your noticing

And forcing me to be

To understand is all I ask of you

And be patient

Because I “get you” too.

Image of Tilda Swinton from Only Lovers Left Alive.

Love is Calling

Sandy Hibbard — Wed, 12 Feb 2014 04:51:44 +0000

Love is Calling

I write for him, not you
What is this?
How could my love be stolen so quickly?
Didn’t you know I was in danger?
You could have listened.
Then you would have realized
…Believed
That I dream of someone else.
Would you have guessed that my affections would turn to another?
Just one word from you and I would have stayed.
I think I’m going now.
Love is calling.
I can’t let it get away.
© Sandy Hibbard
“Love is Calling” Photo by Elizzzard