By Sandy Hibbard

Choosing who you believe, and where and who you rely on for knowledge is something we do quite mindlessly. In the vastness of information we are exposed to everyday, there’s an underlying current guiding us: TRUST. We might not always consciously acknowledge it, but with every headline we read, every news segment we watch, and every email we open, we’re making choices about who and what to trust. It’s a decision that shapes not only our understanding of the world but also our beliefs and actions.

Recently, as I sifted through my email spam folder, I stumbled upon a headline that caught my attention. It claimed that a particular sleeping position could increase the risk of Alzheimer’s disease. Another email touted the miraculous powers of an exotic nut to cure various ailments. Both seemed outlandish, so I quickly dismissed them. But it got me thinking: why did I dismiss these claims while others might embrace them?

The answer lies in the culmination our experiences, our values, and the voices we have chosen to listen to.

Growing up, we absorb knowledge from our parents, teachers, and mentors. We trust their guidance because it’s grounded in personal connection and shared experiences. But as we navigate adulthood, our sources of information diversify. We turn to friends, the internet, social media, religion, news outlets, and professionals for guidance on everything from health to politics to spirituality.

Yet, amidst all this noise, how do we discern truth from fiction?

Do we place our trust in the echo chambers of social media, the sensationalism of news networks, or the wisdom of our inner selves? The answer isn’t straightforward. It’s a complex interplay of critical thinking, intuition, and discernment.

Our beliefs, opinions, and worldview are shaped by the narratives we choose to embrace.

Whether it’s the reassuring voice of a trusted mentor, the authoritative tone of a medical professional, or the persuasive rhetoric of a news anchor, we’re constantly evaluating and reevaluating where to place our trust – or we should be! However, there is a huge number of people who blindly believe what they hear from their “preferred source”, without questioning or critically analyzing the information presented to them.

In today’s hyper-connected world, the challenge is not only to filter out misinformation but also to cultivate a deeper understanding of our own beliefs and biases. It requires humility, curiosity, and a willingness to challenge our assumptions. It’s about recognizing that truth is often multifaceted and subjective, shaped by the lenses through which we view the world.

So, who and what do you trust?

Take a moment to reflect on the sources of information that inform your beliefs. Are they rooted in evidence, reason, and personal experience? Or are they influenced by fear, prejudice, or external agendas? It’s a serious question with far-reaching implications for how we navigate our lives and engage with the world around us.

As we journey through today’s massive network of information, let’s anchor ourselves in the pursuit of truth, love, and understanding. Embrace diversity of thought, engage in meaningful dialogue, and remain open to new perspectives. In doing so, we not only empower ourselves but also contribute to a more informed, compassionate, and interconnected society.

In the end, the choice of who to trust is ours to make. Let’s choose wisely.

For all of us, love and relationships weave through our lives, shaping our experiences and defining our personal development. It certainly has mine. Through my journeys into the realms of love, I’ve often found myself dealing with the complexities of human connections. Relationships are hard at best, and love, it is fragile yet so powerful. The road to find it is filled with joy, pain, and everything in between.

Throughout my life, I’ve embraced love with an open heart. I have eagerly explored its depths and intricacies. In fact, in each of my relationships, I have planted my hopes, dreams, and vulnerabilities quite fearlessly. I’ve also encountered the harsh realities of love in those relationships – the betrayals, the heartaches, and the disillusionments. It’s these moments of darkness that have taught me the most about myself and the nature of relationships… and love.

Dependency

One recurring theme that echoes through love experiences is the notion of emotional dependency. Like a seductive siren, love lures us into its depths, and wraps us in its embrace until we become completely immersed in it. That’s the ecstasy of it after all. But it’s easy to lose yourself in the euphoria of connection, to mistake emotional intensity for genuine intimacy.

I’ve come to realize that true love is not about possession or control, emotions aside, it is more  about mutual respect, understanding, and growth. Years ago, when I was in therapy, I remember my Dr. K telling me that I could not control my love interest; that I must be ok with ‘not knowing’. Love and relationships are not meant to be controlled! And the outcome of two people who are attracted to each other cannot be manipulated either. Instead, it’s about nurturing each other’s individuality while fostering a deep bond of trust and companionship. In essence, it’s about finding someone who complements your soul rather than completes it.

But what happens when love turns toxic, when the lines between passion and obsession blur? I’ve learned that recognizing the signs of an unhealthy relationship is crucial in preserving one’s well-being (ya think?!). Just as a flower cannot bloom in toxic soil, our spirits cannot thrive in an environment devoid of love and respect.

Yet, even in the midst of heartbreak and despair, there is beauty to be found. Each experience, whether joyful or painful, serves as a stepping stone on the path to self-discovery and empowerment. As a creative, I’ve channeled my emotions into my work, transforming pain into poetry, heartache into harmony. Through creativity, I’ve found solace, a sanctuary where I can express the depths of my soul without fear or inhibition, or shame. Each person has within them the ability to channel their pain into a place where they can transform it. When you let go of the insanity of the emotions of the moment, you can guide yourself into a higher realm of thinking and action.

Unhealthy Attachments

Love, at times, can be like a cigarette—a seemingly harmless habit that you’ve grown accustomed to, even addicted to. It’s a familiar comfort, a fleeting escape from the realities of life. But just as smoking slowly erodes our health, so too can love become destructive, consuming us from within. We may find ourselves clinging to relationships that no longer serve us, trapped in a cycle of dependency and disillusionment.

In acknowledging this truth, we empower ourselves to break free from the chains of unhealthy attachments and embrace the transformative power of self-love. Easier said than done, right?  Self-love and personal power is something we develop, it is a result of our suffering and experiences. It is only when we release the grip of past habits and embrace our inherent worthiness that we can truly experience the fullness of authentic love. The kind of love that nourishes the soul and allows us the freedom we crave.

Trust

Trust forms the very foundation upon which we build our connections. We want to believe in the authenticity of those we hold dear, to trust that they are who they claim to be. Yet, what happens when the person we’ve opened our hearts to turns out to be someone entirely different?

I recently found myself in a situation where someone I had grown incredibly close to was not who I thought they were. Their lies shattered the illusion of our bond. It felt surreal. How could someone you love deceive you so completely, leaving nothing but doubt and disillusionment in every aspect of the relationship? How could I trust in the sincerity of our connection when it was built upon a foundation of deceit?

The truth is, there was no relationship. And even when you have accepted that, when you move forward, that deception has a way of casting a shadow over even the brightest moments you had experienced. It calls into question the authenticity of every shared laugh, every tender moment of intimacy. It’s a sobering realization that the person you think you knew may be nothing more than a mirage—a facade carefully constructed to mask their true intentions.

Moving forward

So how do you move forward when trust has been broken, when the very essence of a relationship feels tainted by deception? In the aftermath of my own experience, I have learned that the only way you can move forward is through the process of time, healing and self-discovery (time, love and tenderness!).

First and foremost, it’s essential to acknowledge and validate your feelings of betrayal and hurt. Staying in denial or looking for excuses will only make the pain linger. My therapist told me once that there was something greater than forgiveness – acceptance. Not playing the blame-game, but accepting where you are, what has happened, or what someone else has done.  Embracing it.

Yes, it’s okay to grieve the loss of trust, to mourn the innocence of belief in someone’s authenticity, and then to accept it. In the middle of the pain and acceptance, there lies an opportunity for growth and introspection, and personal freedom.

And remember: We must learn to trust ourselves—to listen to the whispers of intuition that speak to the truth of our experiences. It’s a journey of self-discovery, of reclaiming your power and acquiring insight into your own character.

Restoration

Even as we embark on this journey, we must recognize that trust, once broken, cannot be easily restored. To be very honest, I never wanted to restore the relationships that I lost due to betrayal, there were no children or marriages involved, so I let them go and moved on. However, in some situations healing and restoration is desired. And that requires patience, honesty, and a willingness to confront the uncomfortable truths that lie at the heart of those relationships.

Ultimately, regaining trust is a gradual process—one that requires both parties to be willing to do the hard work of rebuilding what has been lost. It may require difficult conversations, honest apologies, and a commitment to transparency and vulnerability. But perhaps most importantly, it requires a willingness to believe that despite the pain of betrayal, love still has the power to heal and transform. For in the crucible of adversity, we discover the resilience of the human spirit, and the capacity of the heart to forgive, to love, and to trust once again.

In the end, it is not the destination that matters, but the process of living and gaining wisdom,  the realization of love and self-discovery, and becoming the individual we were always meant to be. So here’s to the  complexities of love, to the highs and lows, the twists and turns, and the genuineness of the heart’s adventures.

Embracing Spring’s Renewal 

Hello, beautiful Saturday souls! As we bask in the energy of the first day of Spring and this absolutely fabulous day, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of celebration. It’s not just about the blooming flowers or the warming sun; it’s about embracing the essence of new beginnings and the boundless potential that lies ahead.

Spring arrives, bringing with it a cascade of festivities like Nowruz, Easter and Passover, offering us opportunities to rejoice in the beauty of life, the comfort of hope, and the anticipation of prosperity. These occasions teach us profound lessons in forgiveness and rebirth, reminding us to cherish the love that weaves through and connects our lives.

Today, I find myself immersed in contemplation, welcoming a fresh awareness of my being and a renewed dedication to my craft. What will I do next? Where will my creativity take me this year? How can I give more, love more? I too am embracing forgiveness, faith, hope and love – as these things create the foundation of our humanity and connects us, infusing our lives with beauty.

My wish for each of you is a profound inner awareness, illuminating the magnificent human being that you are. May you find hope that transcends your circumstances, and may you recognize the depth of real love.

While we hustle and go about our busy daily life, I urge you to pause, to breathe, and to revel in the essence of Spring blooming IN and AROUND you. Let go of the past, and allow this present moment to guide you. Open your heart so that your light can shine, and allow your authentic self to ignite the world you live in with joy.

And speaking of sunshine, I couldn’t resist sharing this uplifting song with you all. Let’s groove to the rhythm of “Aquarius – Let the Sunshine In” (1969 style!) as we embrace love and peace in our hearts.

Aquarius _ Let the Sunshine In

Warmest regards ,

another weekend comes to a close

the music opens the scene

i sit alone again

wine in hand

music in my ears

memories of him

in my room

in my bed

it’s Sunday night

i’ll write

maybe send him a note

nope

i’ve done that

maybe i’ll write it down

another passage in my journal

post a lovers note

but i’ve done that

so many times before

he doesn’t read it

falls on deaf ears

blind eyes

never to see my heart

why?

when will the longing go away

when will my heart accept the truth

that it was only me

some weird need

and oh so real

he filled it for a minute

and I turned it into years

so is it finally over?

do i say goodbye?

no need

he already did that

© Sandy Hibbard

Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

LOVE: Like Unwrapping a Box of Chocolates

Listen to Sandy:

Where have I felt loved? That’s a big question and not so easily answered. Not because I haven’t experienced much love, but because there is no black or white answer.

In my lifetime, I have done a lot of things; I have put myself “out there” as a performer, singer, actor, teacher, counselor, parent, friend, daughter, and leader more times than I can even recount. In those times, I have basked in respect, camaraderie, joy, acceptance, gratefulness – many of the attributes that you might associate with love. But has there been a moment when I was saturated in feelings of love? I’ve had to think about this.

This is a question more easily answered by a 13-year-old, who hasn’t lived life and had a lot of life experiences. But as a 66-year-old who has lived a large life and as a result, I am filled with the knowledge of my experiences, there is no black-and-white answer to this question. As soon as I can remember a time where I felt loved, looking back on it in the big picture of things with understanding and knowledge, I can easily say,  “…yeah but.” It was only a moment. Does that sound hard and bitter? No, it shouldn’t, because I’m not. What I’m saying is that love is an emotion that we feel. We take home that feeling from a situation or a moment we have experienced.

Probably the most awesome “feeling” of love is experienced while having sex. But we all know that sex does not always equal love! When we cook meals for our family, they might show their appreciation and you’re going to feel loved, but they’re also just thanking you and showing emotion for their food because they’re hungry. If I get on stage to perform and get a standing ovation and people come up to me afterwards and tell me how great I am, sure, in that moment, I’m feeling love. But in reality these people are just happy to be given something that makes them feel better. I’m a conduit and they appreciate the message. We are all messengers! 

So when I dig a little deeper (because this is a vast subject, this love thing), I find that this feeling of love is really about how we are feeling about ourselves. It’s about self-love, displayed through authentic acceptance, forgiveness, and grace – for me! Embracing my faults, failures, inadequacies, and all the things I bring to the table as a human being.

Love becomes palpable when I act out of love in whatever I do, it’s not as a transaction for validation.

Of course, I feel love when my grandchildren hug me, or when my son and daughter share an embrace. I could say that it’s a given [to feel love], but obviously it’s not. There are people who never feel loved from their family. But in my case, there is an authentic moment of love in the interactions that I have daily with my children and my grandchildren, because that is what I have groomed with them. It’s not because I have performed in a way to deserve it.  This is the biggie, love is not a transaction, it’s not a reward. It is a choice we make first within our own minds.

Bottom line, you will feel love when you love yourself and you allow your actions to be based on authentic motives without fear or judgement. Those are the moments that shout “LOVE WAS HERE!“. The ripples of authentic love are boundless, diverse, and surprising – like unwrapping a new box of chocolates!

XOXOXO

In the vast tapestry of relationships, many women find themselves woven into a silent corner, muted by societal expectations and generations of conditioning. Today, women are different (it seems that way), our world has changed, and the expectations of us have changed. Or have they? It takes a profound metamorphosis to learn to speak your truth if you have had a lifetime of being taught to defer to men (or others), or have not been allowed to express freely.

Unraveling the Threads of Silence

For too long, countless women have navigated this life by silencing their voices, their dreams, and their desires in the name of tradition or perceived societal norms. The statistics are telling — a staggering number of women have faced the debilitating grip of silence in relationships. But how can it be possible to accurately measure that number?

In one study, researchers followed nearly 4,000 people in Framingham, Massachusetts over 10 years. They found that “women who didn’t express themselves when they had fights with their spouses were four times more likely to die than those who did.” This was true even when factors such as age, blood pressure, smoking, and levels of cholesterol were taken into account.

In the late 1980s, Harvard-trained psychologist Dana Jack identified a recurring theme among female patients suffering from depression: a tendency to self-silence, defined as “the propensity to engage in compulsive caretaking, pleasing the other, and inhibition of self-expression in relationships in an attempt to achieve intimacy and meet relational needs.” Through research, Jack found that this learned behavior, strongly rooted in gender norms, was linked to an increased risk of depression.

Since then, considerable evidence has revealed that female self-silencing isn’t just tied to psychological issues like depression and eating disorders, but also to physical illness.

*Source https://time.com/6319549/silencing-women-sick-essay/

Self-Silencing

When women push their feelings down and cast their needs aside, their health suffers. But it can be difficult for women to do otherwise in a culture that celebrates these *self-silencing practices. While young women are praised for “being chill,” moms are revered for being painstakingly altruistic to the point of self-abnegation. These unspoken standards establish a vicious cycle. For many women, it feels easier—beneficial, even—to silence their needs at the expense of their own health, rather than swim against the prevailing cultural current.

*Self Silencing theory is based on a study of clinically depressed women’s descriptions of their experiences, including their understanding of what led up to their depression.  The women detailed how they began to silence or suppress certain thoughts, feelings, and actions that they thought would contradict their partner’s wishes. They did so to avoid conflict, to maintain a relationship, and/or to ensure their psychological or physical safety. They described how silencing their voices led to a loss of self and a sense of being lost in their lives. They also conveyed their shame, desperation, and anger over feelings of entrapment and self-betrayal.

*Source https://blog.oup.com/2010/03/silencing-the-self/

The Struggle: An Intimate Affair

The struggle to break free from this “self-silencing” is, for many, an intimate affair — a battle waged within the confines of one’s own heart and mind. It’s a journey through self-discovery, a realization that our voices are not only valid, but essential to any relationship and to our own health. Many times it is necessary to take this personal battle to a therapist who can help to carefully unravel the threads with compassion and understanding.

My Own Struggle with Self-Silencing

After decades of deferring and silencing, and dealing with depression, I had to consciously become aware and practice finding my own voice.

As a young girl, teenager, and young adult, I followed a silent code I had made when I was very young “I will learn to keep my mouth shut and that way I will avoid fighting and conflict”. I learned that model at home, followed it closely and I was successful. I could avoid the bad stuff. I could be an “observer”, I didn’t have to participate.

Old Outdated Maps

I took this model into my first marriage and my young adult life. It was easier to just go along and not stir the waters. Of course, this only led to surface level relationships, more depression, and the eventual dismantling of my marriage.

No matter how hard I tried, I was still not able to avoid conflict, yet I was lost and overpowered without the strength of my own confident voice and mind. I have often told my kids, “I had to learn how to think for myself and have my own opinion”. Not an easy task! It has taken most of my life to do that and I still have to work on it. Conditioning is powerful.

Getting Outside Help

After years of therapy with a wonderful doctor that I completely trusted, I was able to see and understand the hitch I had made with myself and began to rewrite my map. I had to learn how to standup for myself when necessary, accept the bad things, and act from my own mind even when it felt unsure, scary and uncomfortable. I was able to draft my own internal mission and mantra for my life, rewrite my spiritual beliefs without fear, and move shamelessly back into love.

This is the Reward

Even after being made aware of my own self-silencing, I still failed, many times. Another lost marriage, a dear friendship gone down the drain, more failed love interests, business deals gone bad, and struggles financially. Yet, isn’t this the essence of life? I’ve embraced it, experiencing every twist and turn on my own terms and in my own voice. Today, I can openly share my story with unwavering authenticity, free from fear, or how I “should be”. This, to me, is the ultimate reward.

Shattering the Chains: Embracing Empowerment

The journey of finding one’s voice is not a sprint but a marathon (understatement!!), often marked by moments of courage and self-reflection. It’s about reclaiming power, rewriting narratives, starting new habits, and embracing the beauty of authentic self-expression. This doesn’t happen overnight. And consistency in our self-talk is so important.

We Are Beacons of Change

“A voice gives your opinions a platform, and gifts you with the opportunity to have perspective and knowledge on things that matter. No two voices are the same, each voice has something different to say. And in a world that needs to represent freedom and democracy, a voice is a powerful symbol of this.” ~ The U.S. Surgeon General

According to studies on self-silencing and having your own voice, women who actively communicate their needs and desires in relationships report higher levels of satisfaction and fulfillment. This underscores the importance of breaking free from the shackles of silence and embracing open communication.

When you speak up, it is not always going to be a positive experience. In fact, your worst fears may come true…

*People may laugh at you, ignore you, or maybe even attack you for something you say. When this happens, it is easy to become discouraged and slip back into censorship or self-silencing. Building resilience empowers you to push through negative emotions, reclaim your voice, and stay committed to using and honoring your voice.

Building resilience when things don’t go the way you want can look like this:

• • • Practicing self-compassion through positive self-talk
    • Self-validating
    • Normalizing rejection and not taking it too personally
    • Finding safe spaces and people who value your voice for additional support/validation
    • Reframing your perspective to elicit a more positive feeling
    • Hold empathy for the other people involved that their response may not be about you but instead something that they are experiencing

*Source https://thebetteryouinstitute.com/2022/05/26/reclaim-your-voice/

For building resilience, I also found that practicing the “Four Agreements” was highly effective for me along my journey:

1. 1. 1. Be impeccable with your words
      2. Don’t take things personally
      3. Never make assumptions
      4. Always do your best

Embracing the Power Within

As we navigate the path to finding our voices, it’s crucial to recognize the power that resides within us. Each word uttered, every desire expressed, contributes to experiencing a healthy relationship – it is your creative power! This is why professional help is sometimes necessary to help you move from self-silencing (the old map) to a powerful and creative voice (the new map). You must learn to love and respect yourself first. From that foundation, you can learn your voice clearly and compassionately. Understanding and acceptance is the key to our own personal success in discovering our true authentic voice.

Nurturing Transformation: A Call to Action

The journey to finding your voice is a personal one, unique as your heartbeat. It’s about recognizing the patterns, understanding the roots, and compassionately putting those things into their historical past. Only then can you coax the buds of self-expression to bloom. Make these things a practice:

1. Reflect: Take a moment to reflect on your own journey. What patterns of silence do you recognize, and how have they shaped your relationships?

2. Communicate: Engage in open conversations with your partner, friend, or loved one. Share your desires, dreams, and fears. Find a space wherein you can be free to be yourself without condemnation or judgement. Let your voice weave into the intricate dance of connection.

3. Seek Support: Reach out to friends, support groups, or professionals who can provide guidance and understanding on your journey.

A Symphony of Voices: The Future of Love

As we navigate the labyrinth of relationships, let us envision a future where every voice is heard, cherished, and celebrated. The journey to finding our voices is not just a personal triumph; it’s a collective revolution that transforms the landscape of love. It will change the world. No longer judged by social norms or conditions, but we will be accepted for our wisdom, our love, compassion, and the joy we bring to others.

That is my mission for SaturdaySoul.com, to offer a space where stories intertwine, where voices echo, and where understanding illuminates our paths to self-discovery and liberation. Together, let’s break the chains of silence and create a symphony of voices that resonate with the power of authenticity and love.

― C. JoyBell C.

Learning to be comfortable with yourself and to Spread Your Wings

For someone who was married most my life and now divorced, learning to be alone and trust and know my own self and my thoughts has been a challenge at times but an adventure toward priceless self-discovery!  I believe that living the fullness of our soul is in becoming increasingly aware of ourselves and the beauty and the magic we possess!

Love and peace!
XOXO
Sandy

The fear of the unknown can be very intimidating, daunting and at times debilitating. Ultimately, today is the only moment we have any control over, no matter what our goals are, no matter what we have our sights set on. We may be able to aid the outcome or hinder it, but so much is dependent upon how we take advantage of the bounty the world has to offer us each and every day.

Whether the uncertainty you have is in relationships, your career, your longevity or anything that keeps you up at night, the key is to always make sure your wings are spread. For example, in a relationship, it is better to trust and work toward something wonderful that you may be uncertain about(a future, a life together, etc) rather than to settle for something mediocre that while certain, may not be all that fulfilling. The same can be said for your career. It is only when you take a leap, when you do something slightly different than what you’ve been doing before that progress has the chance to happen.

Here are ten ways to practice spreading your own wings:

1. Look for the opportunity in every situation. Any time you find yourself in situations that are less than desirable, choose to see the opportunity for growth. Maybe a difficult situation at work allows you to hone your negotiating skills, or perhaps a failed relationship is allowing you to learn how to be a better partner and also how to communicate more clearly what you need in a relationship and what you can compromise on. Believe it or not, there is a silver lining to everything.

2. Always be observing as well as participating. This past year I have had more new and amazing experiences than I could have predicted when 2012 began, but through each experience I tried absorb as much as possible. For example, if you are in a new environment, take in all of the surroundings, cultural traditions and behaviors.  Drink in all of the inspiration that is just waiting to be captured. While you will most certainly want to participate, you will also want to be an observer of how and why things work – what you gravitated towards and what shocked you. Take note. Who knows when these observations could come in handy one day.

3. Ask questions of those who are the experts in the fields. If you are in a quandary, seek out experts in the fields you are curious about. If I have a question or concern about teaching, I often find myself calling up my mentor to ask her questions about teaching, or instead choose to read books by top researchers on topics that pique my interest.

4. Be willing to look foolish. Be willing to try, no matter what the outcome. Trying anything new can be intimidating partially because there is the fear that you may fail horribly. Well, of course this is a possibility! Think about a baby trying to walk for the first time. Many, many, many attempts are made immediately followed by tumbles to the floor before success occurs. But so long as you continue to try and fine tune what you learn from each experience, you will eventually build that muscle and find yourself standing without a hint of a wobble.

5. Keep a journal. Recording your thoughts in the present sometimes seems like a waste of time. However, just like a good bottle of red wine, well after you’ve tucked it away, the wisdom and truth begin to blossom. From my experience, it isn’t until a year has passed or more that I can look at the words I have written and see a pattern, or determine a passion, a curiosity or a purpose to my actions that may not have been visible initially in the moment. Give this amazing gift to yourself – keep a journal. You may be surprised by how much it could help guide you to where you are meant to go.

6. Don’t run from what you fear. Address it. Confront it. Ask why you are fearful. What are you fearful of – losing, feeling, discovering? After all, it is when we confront what we think we cannot that we gain confidence and strength rather than by doing what we already knew we could.

7. If traditional mores don’t suit your soul, try something else until you discover what it is about the tradition that makes you uncomfortable. Often it isn’t the entire event, but labels, preconceived notions and assumptions that go along with it. Dig deeper and understand what your instincts are trying to tell you. Then decide to create your own culture that suits your sensitivities, passions, values and curiosities.

8. Become comfortable with your own company. Embrace what you discover about yourself through all of life’s trials and adventures.

9. If you feel you aren’t being heard, attempt new and different ways of expressing how you’re feeling (write a blog, take photos, start painting, begin sculpting, try dancing, exercise your voice through your sartorial choices, etc). Most importantly, find a way to communicate with the world which is healthy, helpful and cathartic. By working through your thoughts and feelings, you are not suppressing yourself, thus allowing for the world to communicate with you based on how you interact with it. Often times, what it communicates is full of valuable suggestions on how to progress forward.

10. Don’t give up so quickly. Have patience. I would like to use my experience in blogging to explain why patience is something none of us should ever lose sight of. Nearly three years ago I began The Simply Luxurious Life (at that time it was only Simply Luxurious), and as I now meet fellow bloggers who are just getting started, I realize that they have just begun to realize the multitude of opportunities that await them so long as they continue with their craft even when there is no fanfare. Much like planting perennial bulbs in the fall, we won’t see or know their beauty until nearly six months later in the spring when we’ve forgotten about the time spent in the yard digging, spacing and kneeling to place them precisely where we want them to spring up. So continue to spread your wings, soak up all that life presents to you even if it doesn’t make sense at the time and trust that your continued efforts to live your best life on a daily basis are already paying off and will one day build to create an amazing legacy.

“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”  ~Henry David Thoreau

Thanks to the folks at Simply Luxurious for sharing their lovely ideas on living – be sure and stop by to visit them!

XOXO

Sandy

A love story in 100 words

There was something familiar about him, something about the apartment, the bed, the kitchen that made me feel comfortable.  He made me feel at home, and I was.  I’m not quite sure what I was expecting – after the last visit and my fluctuating emotions, I wasn’t sure that I would feel anything. But I did. I caught a glimpse of the man that I knew was there.  More attentive, relaxed, happy.  I felt his love for me, his desire that extended beyond sex.  Maybe a desire to be a part of my life….still not so sure.  But I caught a glimpse.

© Sandy Hibbard 2021

I get on this plane to come home and as the engine begins to thrust and my body is pushed back into my seat, my thoughts turn to you…the first time you rode next to me in a dark plane and the brief moment we shared in Chicago.  They were magical moments and the music playing makes me hungry to be with you in that way again, in the sweetest of ways.  Holding your hand as we strolled along the dark and ambient lit streets along the river, you in your long black coat, your chuckle, my nervous laugh, your tender kiss.  I know we have been through much since then – some things beautiful and hopeful, some things devastating and hurtful – but here we are.  And here I am – longing for you and desiring to be held in your comfortable arms.  I pray that we can find that same comfort in every moment we share – a beautiful bond that transcends even our private intimate moments to just being ourselves and quietly sharing our love.

© Sandy HIbbard 2021

Photo : Man in a Long Black Coat by Boss, 2013