The first swim can be a bit daunting.  In this story, it was cold at first, but after sweeping and cleaning the pool, raking and bagging  leaves for weeks, the back pool area was looking so good that I thought, “why not, it’s 80+ degrees I will get use to it” and I did!  So, I jumped in.  COLD.  Made my skin hurt a bit.  But after a few short minutes and keeping my body moving across the water, I got use to it.  No longer did I feel the bite of the cold.  This experience was wonderful for me and allowed me to set a marker for Spring in my mind (not to mention that my pool season is officially open!), but looking deeper, it taught me something about life.

Sometimes trying something for the first time is frightening.  We’re afraid of the uncomfortableness of the environment (like cold water), but if we set our minds to it, jump in, swim, keep moving, keep breathing – we find ourselves becoming one with it.  And that goes for the good AND the bad, you can get used to it.  So take this little lesson to both extremes – you can jump into shit and get use to the nastiness, or you can jump into beauty and get use to the sweetness.  It depends on what you jump into!  I choose to create an environment that assists me in living my dream.  I make decisions on what it is that I want to do, what it is that helps me be my best for the people in my life, and I create that place to jump into.  A friend once told me  “you can live by choice or by consequence”, I choose to live by CHOICE.  Choose life and love, peace and kindness, beauty and passion – then jump in!

Love and Peace!  Sandy

This is Not My Life

A warm “hello” and kiss goodnight
bright eyes, sweet lips
a scurry of activities, part of the pack
cooking, eating, laughing, telling stories
family connection
broken times
high times
silent, I feel
dreams, dances, sweet kisses on my head
enticing me
to a life imagined
but not mine
waking up alone
wondering why
wondering where it all went
lingering tears remind me
of my reality
a quiet mix
real and imagined
angst and despair
love and hope
strength and tender frailty of my heart
is this my life?

It’s like being out on the sea when a storm blows up and there is no where you can go or hide. You simply have to batten down the hatches and ride out the storm.  Life is like that.

Many years ago I went through a terrible divorce that tore my family apart.  And like any divorce where children are involved, my beautiful babies suffered for the mistakes of their grownup parents.

My daughter was only 10 at the time and my son was a young 13 year old.  We were ripped apart.  The pain was nearly unbearable for all of us, but we made it through the storm.  We endured and grew closer together and more intimate than we ever could have imagined.

Sometimes those wounds surface though, and bring to each of us reminders of the pain, and that hurt can be as real as if it were happening now.  Life is like that too.  But year by year, moment by moment, just like you, we push through the pain and gain understanding, strength, and compassion for ourselves and others on a deeper level.  We learn to live this life in love and without judgement.

I wanted to share a poem that was written many years ago for her as we were weathering the violent storm that struck our lives. May it remind her of her beauty and the love that has always surrounded her while she was growing into a beautiful young lady.  I celebrate her on this day and every day, as the beautiful daughter she has always been, and the amazing woman she has become. She will always be my princess!

Love and hugs forever,
Sandy (momma)

Little Girl of Mine

Little girl of mine
rosy pink and soft
our little princess
you were always the boss
Funny little turned-up nose
lips unfolded like a rose
tender gentle heart
full of love and grace
strong and determined
while reaching out for mom’s embrace
I was always there
never left you for a minute
time and circumstance were cruel
but my love was with you in it
Beautiful young lady
tall and lean and graceful
never doubt your heart of love
it will teach you what you need to know
Soon you’ll find your own place
when mother’s not enough
you will grow to understand
and lean on thankfulness
Little lady of mine
a princess so refined
know this one important thing
and never give up on your dream
…you were born to sing!

© Sandy Hibbard