Love and hugs,

Sandy

5 Simple Ways to Be Happy with Yourself 

The desire for happiness is universal. We all crave it. I think everyone wants to be happy and we all seek for ways to maintain that happy state, but that’s a pretty tall order. Not everyone knows how to achieve that state.

Unfortunately, our culture hasn’t helped with this confusion. We have been conditioned to associate happiness with material and outward trappings.

The line of thinking is that, if we have more things, if we’re the most beautiful, if we have fame and money, we will be more fulfilled. As a result, a lot of people spend their entire lives chasing happiness, only to be left feeling less than, insecure and worthless. Happiness is not something that you find external to yourself. You won’t buy a new dress or purchase a new car and feel like you’re living on a cloud, at least not for long.

Sure, you may feel short-term gratification from all these material things, but this feel-good vibe won’t last. It won’t be long until you will be looking for the next best thing to fill that void.

There’s no magic pill for happiness. Happiness is an inside job, a choice that you have to make. Try the following to learn how to be happy with yourself every day.

1. Practice Mindfulness

How you start your day matters. If you begrudgingly roll out of bed, put on a pot of coffee, and rush out the door to work, how do you think your day will unfold?

I don’t know about you, but my emotions can get the best of me. If you don’t master your mind, your mind will master you. This is why I’m such a big believer in creating an empowering habits to support the life you want, and morning is a great place to start.

When you take the time every morning to nourish your mental and emotional state, you set yourself up for success. Meditate, journal, exercise, recite affirmations, juice, dance. Do whatever it takes to get yourself into a “high vibe” state.

Yes, meditating is great, but it’s bigger than that. You want to strive to live more mindfully all around. Think of mindfulness as a moment-to-moment awareness of one’s experience, without judgment.

Strive to be more present in every given moment of your life. Instead of rushing from one thing to the next, take time to pause and enjoy the little things.

2. Be Grateful

Gratitude is a way of living that focuses on seeing the good, no matter how dire one’s circumstances are. Of course, it can be hard to be grateful when you’re going through difficult times in life. However, there is always a silver lining in every struggle. You just have to be willing to look for it. When you adopt an attitude of gratitude, you shift into a state of appreciation. All of sudden, there is no room for sadness because you are choosing love.

Research shows that gratitude is strongly associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, and deal with adversity.

If you don’t already, I encourage you to start a gratitude journal. A simple practice like this one only takes a few minutes every day. It has the power to change your life. What are you grateful for?

3. Find Your Tribe

By nature, we are social creatures. Connecting with one another helps us thrive, especially when we are faced with difficult times (this is why social distancing has been a challenge for many).

Research shows that people who feel more connected to others have lower levels of anxiety and depression, higher self-esteem, and greater empathy for others.

I wouldn’t be who I am today without the solid tribe of people that I call family. These are my people. Although my circle is small, I know that these people will always have my back, no matter what.

You become the five people whom you surround yourself with. If you want to be a happy and successful person, you need to make sure that your friends have the same vision as you.

Strive to find people who empower you to become a better version of yourself. They will naturally enhance your happiness and make you feel good about yourself.

4. Connect to Your Body Intelligence

Where people get stuck is that they live too much of their lives in their heads and fail to connect with their body intelligence. Your body is a vessel that is constantly speaking to you.

When you don’t listen to it, you end up getting into trouble. The body is intimately connected to the gut. The more that you go inward and bring attention to your body, the more you are able to connect with your intuition.

It is the place of inner wisdom that brings you back home to yourself. In actual fact, every cell in the body is intelligent, with the heart acting like a conductor for the cellular processes taking place within us in each and every moment. There are a variety of different modalities that allow you to connect to your body intelligence, whether it’s dance, yoga, or chi gong. When you allow yourself to drop out of your head and into your heart, you come to realize that everything you’ve ever needed is already inside of you.

5. Don’t Take Life So Seriously

Life is so short. If you spend the entire ride worrying and agonizing about everything, you will miss so many beautiful moments. Not only that, but it will create dis-ease in the body.

An overemphasis on seriousness in life lends itself to a narrow way of understanding what’s worth your time and attention.

In childhood, we are encouraged to play and be free. However, a lot of people lose this desire once they become adults. If you can relate to this, let me ask you something… what would happen if you slowed down and took the time to enjoy life more?

You don’t want to get to the end of your life and wish that you had laughed and smiled more often. Nobody wants to live with regrets.

The next time that you’re taking yourself too seriously, step back and ask yourself: “Is this situation worth getting so frustrated over?” If not, move on and get back to enjoying life.

Final Thoughts

You can’t always control the external world. However, you can always control your internal world. Finding simple ways to be happy with yourself every day is a commitment. However, it’s worth the effort because you deserve to live a happy life.

*article source and inspiration: LifeHack

Comparing ourselves to others, even those we may admire tremendously, is the surest way to stifle or even lose our own power. While others may be quite inspiring, their path is not ours; ours is not theirs. As such, comparisons can only hinder our progress with ourselves and our relationships with others. The idea is to graciously accept each day as a gift of time that allows us to further uncover and discover our own power.

~ @SilverDisobedience

This is one of the most important things we will learn in life – to accept ourselves as we are.

It’s so easy to say, and man can we girls tout this philosophy at our book clubs and get-togethers, but then we race to the makeup counter and the botox clinic to improve those little things that we think make us look less perfect. Here’s something: you will never be perfect! Perfection lies within the acceptance of your own beauty. How you carry yourself, your attitude, joy, your confidence, THAT is what makes your natural beauty shine.

So back to the comparing thought… We live in a youth culture. We are confronted, often assaulted, with flawless beauty and extreme perfection everywhere we go – technology and social media exacerbate it 24/7. It’s hard to be ok with our flaws. I get it! I am a woman living and working in a youth culture of Instagram and influencers that eat botox for breakfast. I have to remind myself that there are no smoothing apps in real life. This is it baby! And you know what? At the end of the day, I’ve learned to be ok with myself. I have learned to even be dazzled by the imperfections that make me a unique human being.    HOWEVER, I dare not go down the rabbit hole of comparing myself to 30-somethings, if I do, I will surely lose my shit!

Women and men rise up to your beauty!

Accepting yourself right where you are is the beginning of realizing your own personal power. Living in the moment and understanding that it is a gift, is the place where love is born – love for yourself and others. Healthy acceptance without nasty judgement frees you from the constraints of fear.  My #SaturdaySoul for you and I both today is simply to rise up and embrace your unique beauty – let your joy, your love, and your own personal power soar!

XOXOXOXO

A strange beautiful woman
met me in the mirror.
Hey, I said,
what are you doing here?
She asked me
the same thing.

Marilyn Nelson b. 1946

Storms can blow up in your mind, but don’t worry, the weather always changes

Arhhh!  That soulish nature in us can certainly be a pain.  You know how you can get a thought under your skin so that it turns from being an innocent reflection to a destructive force that begins to color all your actions and level of confidence?  I do.  I’ve been there.  So I am here today to remind us to beware of destructive mind storms.  A mind storm starts from a negative state of mind, and when we nourish it will begin to manifest itself into reality.  Once it settles into our consciousness it can blow up one hell of a mind storm.  When that storm comes, don’t give it too much attention. Focus on what is at hand to do and don’t follow the negative spiral.  Like I have said before “change one thing to a positive and everything else will follow“.  The storm will blow away, just like the weather changes, it will change if you don’t give it fuel to keep burning.

The article below explains how mind hinderances lead to mind states lead to mind storms.  Put into Sandy’s simple terms, I think the key here is to focus on the good – love, peace and patience – and leave the yucky thoughts alone, they will pass.  Believe me, I understand that this is easier said than done, but we can do this!

Mind Hinderances
We know these and often talk of them as neediness, anger, low self-esteem, low energy, fear, and demoralization. As normal occasionally encountered experiences, they can make life problematic, but these hindrances can intensify into something more lasting. If they do so they may change from being “Mind Hindrances” to “Mind States.”

Mind States
A “Mind State” is a hindrance that is not transient. It comes to stay. A Mind State becomes a habitual outlook and response pattern. All life experiences are filtered through the Mind State. The Mind State of lust looks at everything through the lens of neediness and desire. Something is missing and life is not satisfactory. The angry Mind State is always on the verge of irritation and frustration and fills the air with tension. Habitual lethargy robs life of the energy required for day to day tasks and leaves none left over for new adventures. The Mind State of Doubt creates an insecure world while the fearful mind spreads anxiety into all areas of life.

Mind States are difficult to live with because they make life more fretful or tedious than needed. They become the lenses though which we view our life. A Mind State is hard to recognize and harder still to give up. It seems to be the reality.

Mind Storms
The real danger of Mind States, however, is that they can suddenly swirl up into “Mind Storms.” A Mind Storm is a Mind State out of control. Mind Storms blow in due to some real or imagined occurrence and can wreak havoc while present. Comments are made and actions are taken that are later regretted. With a Mind Storm in control clear vision is lost and judgement is clouded. Just as the storms of weather come and go, so do the storms of the “Mind.” They blow in and they blow out again and then the damage must be surveyed.

Mind Storms always give warning signs. These “storms” initially show up in that little voice of conscience that talks to us. You might recognize the voice of conscience as that positive voice that says, “Gee, you look good.” And, “That was a terrific job.” Or, in its negative tones, when it says, “That was really stupid. How could you be so dumb?” In a Mind Storm the voice is usually negative, critical, or irrational in its comments.  This little voice of self-talk can talk us into some bad spots. The challenge of Mind Storms is to learn to watch them come and go but not to react by feeding them more energy through negative thinking and impulsive deeds. We need to observe the little voice while not necessarily responding too seriously to it.

→ Remember the blog post I wrote on engaging the “noticer” when learning where to put the pain of our past?  You may want to read that in relation to observing Mind Storms.

Knowing all about Mind Hindrances, Mind States, and Mind Storms and being aware of the importance of attitude on daily life is no guarantee of protection. Given the right conditions a Mind Storm thunders in and takes over before you know it. Once present it is difficult to recognize.

Mind States come and go. Sometimes a Mind State turns into a Storm. The challenge of mindfulness is to catch the storm early and stop it. If you can’t stop it then just let it blow itself out. Don’t get caught up in it. Don’t act it out.

When a Mind Storm blows in you may think it is about one thing when it usually is about many things. You might think that it is there because of bad decisions or bad luck, when it could  be a chance to learn patience, or giving love.  Don’t miss the opportunity to learn from the situation because you overreact or make a hasty decision based on what you are feeling in that moment.

Mind Storms are hard to recognize when they are present. They seem to be the reality. In reality they are the illusion. So, watch the horizon of your mind. Look for the warning signs of a change in the weather. If storms do appear, just let them pass.

Remember the weather always changes.
Inspired by Mind Storms at Lessons4living.com

Have you ever just longed for the time you would truly like yourself, be comfortable with you? Have you every woke up refreshed and looked in the mirror and fell in love with the person behind your eyes?  Have you ever made a statement, then jumped back and said “wow, did I say that? pretty awesome!”  Sounds weird, huh? Yet a good healthy love of ones self is the sweetest thing in life and the most empowering resource we can own.  So today, you might be in need of a shot in the arm and for someone to tell you it’s cool to be you –  with all your faults, insecurities, passions, ideas, emotions, talents, and desires….here’s to you!   Keep looking for rainbows, I am.
Love and peace, Sandy

 Passion of Me
I am the enigma of my solace.
Sometimes I feel so alone
yet the throbbing of my thoughts
break through
to reconcile peace
in the struggle between soul and mind
clarity and longing
“I am not magnificent”
yet a wondrous woman I am
my soul pierces through
toward a play of knowing all
there is a veil that ensconces me
tenderly allowing the light to dance
upon my darkness
revealing the ebb of desire
against the flood of owning my own passion
this is real – this is me.