success – Saturday Soul with Sandy Hibbard

Fear, bad habits or laziness – what’s holding you back?

Sandy Hibbard — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 13:44:48 +0000

Happy Season of Change!!

The more I have thought about it, the more that I realized that what is holding us back most in life is not what I thought. So, what is it really?

What stops us from being healthy, stops us from being successful at our job, stops us from having great relationships, stops us from being happy, stops us from being fulfilled, causes us to be victims?

What is stopping us from getting what we want in life?

It is the thing that holds us back from making the necessary changes in our life, and it is not fear of change.

Change is the key to getting what we want most, but it is the one thing most of us are not willing to do, no matter what. People are literally willing to die instead of change. That is why I keep pounding on it. That is why I keep trying to find the key to opening up the lock of change.

Fear of change is one of our major road blocks to success, but the more I see and the more I experience, it is pretty clear that in most cases it is really not “fear of change” that is holding us back. We say it is because in some way that is almost acceptable. If someone is fearful of something it is understandable and almost acceptable that they will not change as it is really tough to overcome our fears. However, saying we are not successful at something in life because we are fearful is a copout. For the most part, the real reason people don’t change and improve their circumstances, is we are plain old too LAZY to change!

Think about what it is you are struggling with in life. What it is that you want? Why is it that you are not getting it? Is it fear of change or is it because you are too lazy to change? Honestly?

I wish I knew the formula to eliminating laziness and I could put it in a bottle. If I had it I would be worth a Trillion dollars. Think about it — laziness causes obesity, many cancers, poverty, divorce, addiction, war, unhappiness…it causes death. Yet people are still just too lazy to change.

So, if laziness is my problem, where do I start? The first step to overcoming almost anything in life is to admit it. It does not matter what it is. The first step to success and breaking through is admitting the truth. I am just too lazy too. We have to quit hiding behind fear, circumstances, others, etc. and admit we are just too lazy to change. Then we will be on our way.

Make it a powerful month and don’t be too lazy to do what you need to do to. ; )
Love and Peace!

The Route to Success

Sandy Hibbard — Tue, 15 Mar 2016 16:43:36 +0000

Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.

~ Pablo Picasso

A New Measure of Success

Sandy Hibbard — Thu, 23 Apr 2015 16:40:09 +0000

Must we quantify success?

Fine.
I get it.
We’re a society in love with numbers.
I don’t hate math.
But if we must keep some sort of count,
To wrap our human minds around value,
Let us not do it in hours of work,
Dollars in the bank,
The weight of jewelry that exists only to say,
“Look, I’ve done the things,
To buy the things, so I can be the things”
Success?
If we so need tangibles
Physical, quantifiable evidence
Of a life lived well,
Let us keep count in eye crinkles.
Yes, eye crinkles.
Lets measure the depth and length,
Of those smile lines that have become fixed
In the corner of our eyes.
Lets count the number of moments
We’ve worn joy on our faces.

Authenticity: The Courage to Be Yourself

Sandy Hibbard — Mon, 29 Sep 2014 15:51:46 +0000

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” ~ Brené Brown

Authenticity: The Courage to Be Yourself

I wanted to share a great blog post from the Simply Luxurious Blog – one of my favorite blogs that always speaks to my heart. Something that is on all of our minds is learning to be comfortable with who we are. Our own genuine authenticity is something we aspire to, but why does it seem so difficult to so many? Why do we bend so easily and compromise our own thoughts and feelings because we feel insecure to speak our mind? Why is it so easy to want to be someone else, to not love and appreciate our own uniqueness? I agree wholeheartedly that being authentic takes courage! I hope you enjoy this post as well as I did.

Love and peace!

Authenticity

A lofty aspiration that when we consider what it is, being true to who we are, should be something quite simple. After all, who can know who we are at our core better than ourselves?

But in fact, it is hard. In a world of doctored reality television, plastic surgery and social media pages that allow us the opportunity to only put our best selves online, when we dare to show ourselves, flaws, strengths and all, it can be daunting.

Here are just a few of the reasons many of us, including myself, find it challenging to be authentic:

While we know we’re not perfect, embracing and coming to terms with our weaknesses isn’t easy.
When we expose our weaknesses, we fear others may not have our best interests at heart and use them against us
Tapping into our authentic selves is a never-ending process as we are always learning something new if we are allowing ourselves the endless opportunities the world presents to progress and grow.

However, once we accept that it won’t be easy, and that we are not alone in feeling a bit unnerved by allowing our true selves to be exposed for better or for worse, the beautiful benefits are unmatched and well worth facing these fears.

So today we’re going to dive into what exactly being authentic is, define it, and share the priceless benefits available once we choose this path as the journey we wish our lives to travel upon.

Regarding the definition of authenticity. Initially it was believed that defining such an abstract concept as authenticity was impossible, but eventually psychologists Michael Kernis and Brian Goldman came to agree that it is “the unimpeded operation of one’s true or core self in one’s daily enterprise.”

Okay, so the we have the definition – got it . . . but how do we get there? What concrete pieces must we build in our daily lives to achieve this? Well Kernis and Goldman nailed down four concrete measurements. Let’s have a look:

Self-awareness
- a clear understanding of who you are, why you feel certain emotions at certain times, an understanding of your preferences for things as simple as favorite meals to something as complicated as what prompts you to feel anxiety or stress, understanding what you are passionate about and why. When we know ourselves, our abilities and tastes as well as understand our innate abilities, the skills we have built over time, as well as our weaknesses, we are self-aware.
Ability to evaluate strengths and weaknesses
- Once you know what your strengths and weaknesses are, you can effectively utilize them and/or work through them so that they don’t become your Achilles’ heel, but rather opportunities to move you forward successfully. While basic understanding of how to utilize or improve a strength or a weakness may be something you learn immediately, in other scenarios, you may want to seek guidance – whether it be from a family member, therapist or expert whose advice and guidance you respect. Other options are simply educating yourself – reading a variety of books, taking courses, journaling to make sense of what you are actually feeling, etc.
- When you know how to tap into and make the most of your gifts, as well as work through your weaknesses, improving them, you take control of your life.
Taking action in alignment with your values and needs
- Upon understanding yourself, you can more clearly discern what you can and cannot compromise on. Decision making will become much easier as each scenario of options presents itself. Saying “no” will come without hesitation or be followed by guilt, and “yes” will come more freely and excitedly.
Developing healthy relationships
- In order to have healthy relationships, you must be willing to be authentic. And in order to present your true self to those you are building relationships with, you must be vulnerable. Because it is when you are vulnerable that you discover who will recognize and thoughtfully appreciate your vulnerability, and respond in kind, which allows the relationship to grow. It is with vulnerability, being open and honest, as Brené Brown reminds us in Daring Greatly, that can build strong, intimate relationships.

Benefits of Being Authentic:

When we talk about investing in authenticity, the benefits far outweigh the initial trepidation. Overall, it is the quality of your life that will improve, and isn’t that the basic premise for trying to reform anything in our lives?

1. Avoid Second-Guessing
When you know that the decisions you are making are in alignment with your values and needs, you don’t have to think twice about it. While there may be others observing your decisions who are uncertain of why you’ve chosen a particular direction which may be understandable. After all, they don’t know everything that you hold dear. However, you will move forward with confidence knowing it is indeed your best move. And when you let go of the second-guessing, you set yourself free. Free from unnecessary worry, angst and stress.

2. Letting Go of What Others Think
Brené Brown reminds us that, “If you feel good about the life path you are following, you will have no interest to judge others choices.” And so when we look at this quote from both perspectives, the doer sets herself free, and the judger has revealed their cards. Those who judge are often either consciously or subconsciously frustrated with the life path they are, so it is in their judgment of us that they reveal their own truths.

And while we don’t need to mope or feel sorry for them, we can have compassion and understanding because most of us at some point in our lives will have find ourselves not quite where we want to be. And if we look at others’ judgment in this light, it no longer has to hold us back.

3. Build Trust and Respect in Relationships
“Vulnerability is what breeds opportunity.” In order to connect with others we must be able to share ourselves. Now by no means does this require that you reveal all. In fact, I would advise against such a revelation, but little by little you give and see if they give. You give again if they followed in kind and so on and so forth. And it’s a process. It takes time. But in that process is where that trust is built. It’s where that respect begins to grow.

4. Boosts Confidence
Putting ourselves out there, sharing what we are passionate about, as discussed in great length in The Simple Sophisticate‘s fifth podcast, can reap many rewards, but one of which is a boost to our confidence. Regardless of the response from others, we show ourselves that we can do something we initially thought we could not, and that is cataloged in our memory to draw upon in the next instance in which we doubt ourselves.

And while we are the beneficiaries of this boost, we also provide a benefit to others. How? While there will be an array of feedback – praise and critiques – often it is in simply taking this risk that you draw applause from those who have traveled your path and know the difficulty as well as those who hope to someday do what you’ve done. And so by finding the courage to be authentic, you not only enjoy the benefits but you help others along their journey as well.

5. Reach Your Full Potential
At the core for nearly all of us, we are trying to figure out our gifts, our path, what we can do that makes us unique or special. Guess what? The only way to discover this is to be authentic. I know you’re not surprised by this, but in choosing such a path, we are choosing uncertainty, and understandably, that is what holds us back at times. Fight through this. The treasure of your full potential is your reward.

6. Improve Your Mental Health
Once we let go of what others’ think as well as the bad habit of second-guessing ourselves, we let go of unnecessary stress and anxiety. Once we refuse to over-analyze, we aren’t bringing into our daily lives stress that can gradually erode our health. Instead, our peace-of-mind grows and effectively our health improves as well. Consequentially, our productivity and the quality of our lives improves, which was the initial goal from the get-go.

The tricky part is that we must find within each one of us the courage to present ourselves to the world. We must make the first step. Opportunity, or life, won’t tell us what it will grant us if we follow such a path, and while that may be frustrating initially, keep in mind Amy Poehler’s quote, “You attract the right things when you have a sense of who you are.”

So if we want the success, the contentment, the happiness that we seek, we must muster up the necessary courage do what comes naturally, being ourselves.

You Will Receive Wisdom on Your Journey

Sandy Hibbard — Mon, 18 Nov 2013 22:10:13 +0000

Greetings everyone! I wanted to share this quote with you to remind us all that it is the journey that counts!

“We do not receive wisdom, we must discover it for ourselves, after a journey through the wilderness which no one else can make for us, which no one can spare us, for our wisdom is the point of view from which we come at last to regard the world. The lives that you admire, the attitudes that seem noble to you, have not been shaped by a paterfamilias or a schoolmaster, they have sprung from very different beginnings, having been influenced by evil or commonplace that prevailed round them.
They represent a struggle and a victory.”
~ Marcel Proust

So true. Our path, our journey in this life is our own. It is embracing that path and learning to live every moment of it that I believe we truly fall into and receive the wisdom that will bring us into wholeness.
I hope you had a chance to drop into Saturday Soul last week, but if you didn’t get a chance, here is a recap of the posts I shared from my heart – enjoy!
Where Do We Place the Blame for the Pain of our Past? – engaging the “noticer” and learning where to put our painful emotions from the past
A Moment of Eternity – poetry from my heart about wanting the moment to last in love
Learning to Hesitate for a Happier Life – a lesson for living and learning how to control our impulses
33 Ways to Find Inspiration – sometimes you have to dig for it, but here are some simple ways to keep inspiration around you!
If You Wish To Make Gold You Must Already Have It – mine for the gold that’s in you!
I hope you will stop by this week at Saturday Soul, be sure to leave comments and share YOUR soul with me!
Love and Peace!
Sandy

33 Ways to Find Inspiration

Sandy Hibbard — Tue, 12 Nov 2013 15:34:22 +0000

Finding inspiration can always be a challenge, and believe it or not we need inspiration for everything we do in our lives – to cook, to shop, to work, to create, to raise our kids, to have a happy relationship, to explore our spiritually – inspiration is the fuel that drives us to explore deeper, create more freely, and expand and live our lives with joy. I love this blog post from The Simply Luxurious Life that gives us 33 simple tips to find inspiration when we get bogged down or perhaps just going through a dry spell! “33 Ways to Find Inspiration” – is a good read and will hopefully open your mind to allow those ideas to fly out unhindered! I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did.
Love and Peace
Sandy

33 Ways to Find Inspiration

“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.”
― Jack London

One of the questions that friends and clients ask me about my work is Where do you find your inspiration. I’m always a bit befuddled by this question, as I’ve always simply taken for granted that my mind is overwhelmed with ideas, questions, possibilities and at times seemingly absurd dreams incessantly. But because the question comes up so often, I thought I’d take some time and write down exactly where I find my inspiration. And I hope what you discover is that you have inspiration dancing around in your mind more so than you at first realized.
One of the most important directives when it comes to finding inspiration comes from Jack London’s above quote. Inspiration isn’t looking for us, so we must get up and do something in order for it to dance into our minds. In other words, we must sing for our supper.
After all, we all live in the same world as Beethoven, Claude Monet, Henry Ford, Oprah Winfrey, Rachael Ray and the long list of individuals who were inspired to tap into their gifts. And as we all have our very own unique gifts, we must trust that the universe is eagerly wanting us to seek the inspiration that will unwrap our gifts. But in order for this magical adventure to begin, we must take action, and that is why I begin with the number zero. The following 33 will not be able to reveal their pixie dust unless at first we are genuinely curious about this thing called life.
So have a look. If you ever find yourself needing inspiration for your next project, your upcoming remodel, a change in how to do your job more effectively, or how to improve your life in general, give one of these a try. They’ve all worked at one point or more for me.
0. Be curious
1. Take a risk – leave your comfort zone
2. Read Daring Greatly
3. Spend time in nature – take a hike in the woods, a stroll on the beach, find a bench in a park or take a bike ride outside of town.
4. Spend time with someone new
5. Spend time with someone who brings out your best self
6. Spend time with your own company – follow where your curiosities take you
7. Get a good night’s sleep
8. Dive into history – read works by Doris Kearns Goodwin or David McCullough
9. Watch a TED talk – a few I recommend – Elizabeth Gilbert, Susan Cain, Malcolm Gladwell
10. Take a class that piques your interest
11. Observe the people you admire – learn from what they do
12. Attend an art exhibit
13. Attend a play at the theater
14. Watch a film
15. Attend a lecture or book reading
16. Flip through magazines full of images – decor, fashion, outdoors, cooking, etc
17. Read non-fiction
18. Read newspapers – local and from around the globe
19. Read!
20. Change your perspective, literally – take a different route home, rearrange your furniture at home and/or the office, change your exercise routine, move (a bit extreme, but an amazing opportunity to gather new ideas)
21. Travel
22. Try new recipes
23. Taste food you’ve never tried
24. Read an autobiography by someone who inspires you. See the world through their eyes.
25. Find time to meditate regularly (even if it is only once a week for five minutes)
26. Keep a journal – look back through older journals to see how far you’ve traveled as a person.
27. Attend a conference that grabs your curiosity
28. Plan a day with no appointments or responsibilities – let your mind wander.
29. See the world through your children or your pets eyes. Appreciate the simplicity and ability to appreciate the present moment.
3o. Read inspiring blogs such as Marc and Angel Hack Life
31. Read a classic novel and contemplate the life lesson the author is trying to reveal to the reader
32. Watch OWN’s Super Soul Sunday or any interview by Oprah
33. Reflect on activities you once loved as a child or as a young adult. Make time to include them in your life again – at least once, to remind yourself why you enjoyed it so much.
Life is an amazing, surprising journey that offers so many wonders if only we choose to take actio, and refuse to simply exist. While it has been said many times that success in life is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, that prerequisite inspiration is needed.
And the good news is, it’s everywhere we look. We simply need to open our eyes and become as present in the moment as possible.
The post 33 Ways to Find Inspiration appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.
Related post: 50 Ways to Find Inspiration – Create, Explore, Expand

What are you waiting for?

Sandy Hibbard — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 04:27:35 +0000

One small shift – reading more, gossiping less, taking up dancing – can start a revolution and lead to a new profession, relationship, or mind-set.
What are you waiting for?

success – Saturday Soul with Sandy Hibbard

Fear, bad habits or laziness – what’s holding you back?

Happy Season of Change!!

The Route to Success

A New Measure of Success

Authenticity: The Courage to Be Yourself

Authenticity: The Courage to Be Yourself

Authenticity

Benefits of Being Authentic:

You Will Receive Wisdom on Your Journey

33 Ways to Find Inspiration

33 Ways to Find Inspiration

“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” ― Jack London

What are you waiting for?

“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.”
― Jack London